


Conceivable

by devylish



Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-12
Updated: 2013-04-12
Packaged: 2017-12-07 15:44:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/750224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devylish/pseuds/devylish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mac's got a little problem. Which becomes Veronica's little problem... sorta. What will Dick do about Mac's problem? And what will Lamb do when he think's Veronica is 'in trouble"?</p>
<p>fic I wrote several years ago and placed on ffnet. archiving here at AO3.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Curveballs

**MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe**

"I'm late."

"Only by about fifteen minutes," Veronica looked at the time on her cell phone.

"No! I mean, 'yes', but that's not what I meant. I meant, 'I'm late'," Mac lifted her eyebrows with implication.

Veronica looked at her closest buddette in confusion before her eyes widened in understanding. "Oh! You're 'late!'" She used air quotes as she said the word 'late.'

"Yeah." Mac slumped onto the couch in the Mars' living room.

"How… how late are you?"

"7 days… a full week." Mac looked at Veronica with her brilliant blue eyes; unshed tears welling up along her lashes.

"Are you…? Uh… could it be stress? Stress makes the body do strange things."

"Yeah?"

"Sure. When I had exams freshman year, I was like five days late…. And it was most definitely stress for me; no guys had been near Mars Control Center in… months." She paused, "rather like my current status."

Mac gave Veronica a weak smile.

"Unless you're saying that it's likely that you…?" Veronica scrunched her face as Mac blushed.

"Who!? Cindy Mackenzie, who have you been… you know?!"

Mac re-situated herself on the couch, curling her feet up under her thighs and laying her head against the back of the couch. "No one," she offered unconvincingly.

"Mac!" Veronica crossed her arms over her chest and gave a taser-like glare at the brunette. "Give!"

The whisper was so quiet that Veronica wouldn't have known her friend had spoken if she hadn't seen her lips move.

"Who?"

" _Dick_."

"Okay, you really need to speak up because I swear it just sounded like you said 'Dick'."

Mac squared her shoulders and prepared herself for a fight: "I, uh, did say Dick."

The look on Veronica's face was everything Mac had feared… and more.

"Okay, pregnant with Dick's baby… ummmm, how'd tha… I mean, you do know that that suggests that you and Dick had...," Veronica sat up, ready to attack the not-present Dick, "were there Rufies involved?"

"No!"

"Were you maybe artificially inseminated?"

"Veronica! Dick and I had sex. Consensual sex." Mac turned pink, "several times."

"But how? Why? - We are talking about Dick Casablancas, right?"

Mac burst into tears and Veronica closed her eyes, trying to wrap her mind around the concept of level headed, brilliant Mac doing the horizontal tango with 25-watt Dick. It took her half a second to realize that it would take her MORE than a half a second to understand the logistics of this situation. But regardless of her confused state, she needed to focus on Mac instead of on her own confusion.

Reaching for her only female friend in the world, Veronica pulled Mac into her arms. Petting her back soothingly, she apologized. "I'm sorry Mac, you just surprised me…. I mean, I didn't even know you and Dick were talking to one another, much less, ummm, doing _other_ things with one another." She paused as her friend sobbed against her shoulder.

"He – he's not all bad," Mac hiccupped through her tears.

Deciding to reserve her judgment, Veronica continued with her questions.

"Does he know?"

"I don't even really know for certain." Mac mumbled into Veronica's shoulder.

"Okay then, the first thing we need to do is a little research… namely, we need to see if we have anything that we need to make Mr. Casablancas aware of." Glancing at her cell again, Veronica considered their options… it was after midnight on a Sunday evening and she needed to get a pregnancy test into Mac's hands ASAP.

"Alright chickadee, I'm going to run to the convenience store on Calmont and get you a pregnancy test." Mac's eyes welled up again and Veronica's voice softened. "Don't worry Mac, we'll get through this, no matter what 'this' turns out to be."

**MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe**

_12:30 AM on a Sunday morning…. What the hell is everyone in Neptune doing at the convenience store?!_ Veronica grimaced as she saw yet another Hearst classmate moving around the Max Mini Mart. He was the third person she'd seen while 'casually' winding her way through the store. She didn't know him THAT well, but she knew him well enough to **not** want him seeing her shopping for pregnancy tests.

All of which explained why, for the last 15 minutes, she'd been milling around, picking up perfumes and looking at eyeliners, while, at the same time, she was 'casually' observing the aisle that contained the pregnancy tests.

Finally, she saw a break in the _crowd_ at the MMM and she inconspicuously dove down the all-important aisle.

Did you know that the pregnancy tests are opportunely placed next to the prophylactics and other pregnancy 'preventive' items? Yeah… well, they are. Convenient, huh?

Another learning point for Veronica that evening… there are about 1000 and 1 brands of pregnancy tests. EPT, Pregnancy Now, Immed-a-test; the list goes on. Curling her hand around one box, she hefted it and read the how's and wherefore's of its use. Putting the white box down, she picked up the blue and pink one next to it.

"So, who's the lucky father Mars?"

His lazy drawl made her skin itch. _'Why did it have to be Lamb who found me looking at pregnancy tests!? I'd take a whole campus full of Hearst schoolmates seeing me shopping for pregnancy tests AND prophylactics versus Lamb. Any day!_ '

"Deputy Lamb," She put the blue and pink box down nonchalantly. "They don't have over-the-counter herpes medication; you'll need to go to the pharmacist to get your problem taken care of." Veronica kept her head bent over the boxes in front of her. If she looked at Lamb she'd blush. And Veronica did not blush; especially not in front of Don Lamb.

"Quick with your mouth, as per usual, Mars. Too bad you didn't use more of your mouth versus other body parts to prevent yourself from getting into this… condition in the first place."

"I **am** good with my mouth, but the real key is to have a functioning brain." She paused, "Oooh, sorry, didn't mean to tease you about what you're so clearly lacking." Choosing two different tests blindly, Veronica turned her back to Lamb and headed to the checkout lanes.

The pain in her ass followed her.

"Tell me Mars, does daddy know his little blue eyed angel is knocked up?"

Veronica wanted to tell Lamb the truth, to point out that it was Mac, and not her, who was 'maybe' pregnant. But it was Mac's secret – not hers. Glancing back and seeing the smirk that sat on Lamb's face, Veronica really, REALLY wanted to tell him the truth. But then again, she also really, REALLY wanted to taser him.

_See… impulses: not always a good thing._

"Seriously, what did I do in a past life to deserve being tortured by your presence?"

"You're just damn lucky is all." Don followed Veronica up to the counter, his eyes never wavering from her form.  He had stopped into the convenience store for a pack of gum… and a bottle of vodka. But as he pulled up to the MMM, he saw Veronica Mars' Saturn. And, as usual, her mere presence distracted him from his goal.

Veronica Mars… his own personal anti-christ.  His own personal, 'apparently pregnant', anti-christ.

Watching her fish through her purse for her money, he wondered who the father was. Logan Echolls was a possibility. He was always a possibility. They were off and on so often that they looked like human yo-yos. But the last bit of intel he'd received – from Sacks and Inga of course – had said that Veronica and Logan were 'off'; and had been for about three months. So if not Echolls, who?

Her friend Wallace came to mind. She and he had always seemed too close for comfort. Not that he truly cared who Veronica spent time with, but…. Was it normal for a girl's best friend to be a guy? Then again, when had Veronica Mars EVER been normal. Don thought for a second about the possibility of Wallace being the father of Veronica Mars' baby. And then he quickly crossed him off of the list. Since coming back from Africa, Fennel had been rather publicly involved with a Hearst cheerleader.

Finally, Don's mind settled on Eli Navarro. That was a friendship that he not only frowned upon, but he didn't understand. But just because HE didn't understand it, didn't mean that it wasn't possible. Mars and Navarro had an odd – relationship.

But had they….? Could they have…? Lamb consciously forced himself to unclench his fists.

"Ahem." Lamb glanced at the woman behind him as she pointedly cleared her throat. Looking back in front of him he realized that he was holding up the line, and that Mars was escaping out the front door.

Jogging to catch up with Veronica, he grabbed her wrist.

"Mars."

"Let go deputy."

"No. Who's the dad?"

She settled for a half truth: "1) it's none of your business and 2) we don't even know if there IS a 'baby's daddy' yet." Pulling her hand free of his grip she headed to the Saturn.

She was, and she was not, surprised when Lamb's hand closed over hers on the door handle.

She sighed.

"Seriously – torture. Pure, unadulterated torture." She looked up his frame and peered into his eyes. "What do you want?"

Pulling her door open Don held it ajar and nodded his head towards the interior. "Just helping the mom-to-be into her car."

Another sigh escaped from her lips but she got in. "Thank you," she muttered.

"My pleasure. I'll be seeing you around Mars."

"Not if I see you first," she said as he shut the door. Childishly she stuck her tongue out at him as she started the engine.

He didn't bother to hide his laughter at her pre-pubescent behavior.

_'I've got a big bad car, I could run him over',_ she thought as she backed out of her spot. _'Yeah, but he'd probably die and come back to haunt me_.'

Gunning her baby, she pushed thoughts of Don Lamb out of her head and headed back home.

**MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe**

"45 minutes Veronica! 45 minutes!" Mac exclaimed as Veronica marched in. "Did you get mugged or something?"

"No, I got Lambed."

"Lam-, oh. Sorry."

"He's a big old jerk face, but he's not our concern now. You are." Dropping her purse on the couch she turned and held her bag out to Mac. "Look what I brought for you! Sticks to pee on!"

**MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe**

"So?" Mac looked at Veronica's face trying to read it. Blue eyes met blue.

"I'm going to be an Auntie."

Mac stopped breathing and lowered her hand to her belly. "I'm… I'm pregnant?" She looked at Veronica for further confirmation.

The small nod was all she needed.

"I'm pregnant." A smile flirted at the corners of her mouth. "I'm going to be a mom. A 'mommy'." The smile faded. "Oh crap. I have to tell Dick."

"Not to be mean or anything, but are you SURE Dick's 'yo baby's daddy'? I mean, could you have had a drunken one night stand with a complete stranger perhaps?" Her tone perked up as she asked the question.

"Veronica!"

"Well! Mac! It's 'Dick!'"

Mac left the bathroom and headed to the Mars' kitchen.

Veronica frowned to herself. _'Crap. I'm **so** going to have to get OVER my anti-Dick feelings._ '

**MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe**

Veronica woke up Sunday morning with sunlight pouring through her window. With a groan she pulled her pillow over her head and blocked out the all too cheerful sun.

And then she remembered, she wasn't alone. Mac was here. Mac and her little bun in the oven. A half-Dick bun.

Lifting up the edge of her pillow, she looked at the small convertible chair that sat in her room. Mac sat Indian style at the back of the fold out bed and was looking down at her lap… or, rather, at her stomach.

"Morning." Veronica yawned.

Mac blinked and looked up at Veronica then looked back down at her belly. "I've got a living 'thing' in me. A living creature." Her eyes were wide when she looked at Veronica again. "Me!"

"And Dick," Veronica added. "Don't forget Dick's involvement in this little production."

"I'm not forgetting Dick," she settled back against her pillow, pouting slightly.

"So…, are you still going to wait to tell him?"

"He's in New York visiting Logan. What kind of woman calls her boyfriend and leaves a message on his voicemail saying 'Hope you're having fun at the Met, and with the Mets… tell Logan I said 'hi'.... Oh, and by the way, 'I'm pregnant'; see you when you get back!'? I just can't do that. I 'need' to be looking him in the eyes when I tell him; so I can know how he really feels."

"Dick has feelings huh?"

"Veronica…."

"Sorry. It's habit…. I'm really going to try and stop that…."

"Thank you."

"But you have to admit Mac, you threw the whole: 'I'm interested in Dick… I'm dating Dick… I'm having sex with Dick." Veronica shuddered a little, "I'm pregnant with Dick's child' curveball out of anywhere."

"Technically… that's the purpose of curveballs – to surprise the person you're playing with."

"Helps if you at least KNOW that you're playing the game!"

"Helps if my best friend isn't yelling at me while I'm pregnant!"

Veronica scrunched her eyes and exhaled noisily. "Sorry mamma Mac." She changed the topic. "So when is Dick getting back from New York?"

"Three weeks."

"So you have to sit on this humungous pile of news for three weeks?"

Mac smiled, "See, I **hear** you asking about me, but I **KNOW** you're asking about yourself…. Yes Veronica," Mac crawled out of bed and walked over to Veronica, "I'm pinky swearing you to keep Baby MacIck a secret until I have a chance to talk to Dick."

"Baby MacIck?"

"Mac… Dick… squished together."

"I think you and Dick have done enough 'squishing together' for a while."

Mac raised an eyebrow and kept looking at Veronica, her hand extended.

Veronica glanced between Mac's hand and her face. "Are you serious? You want us to pinky swear?"

Mac wiggled her fingers impatiently.

Sigh.

"Fine." She extended her pinky and locked it around Mac's. "I'm doing this for baby MacIck." She watched Mac as she walked into the hallway and yelled after her retreating figure, "Baby MaDi sounds better than baby MacIck!"


	2. None Of Your Business

**MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe**

"Mackie!" Dick leaned against the balcony door of Logan's New York apartment. He curled the phone into his shoulder as he popped the top of his soda. "Dude, how are you? And more importantly, what're you wearing?"

"Hey, Dickie," Mac teased back over the phone. "Nothing. I'm wearing nothing at all, I'm standing stark naked in the living room."

"R-Really?"

She laughed at his willing gullibility. "Nope, sorry. Fully clothed, sitting on your couch, playing the X-men II game. I," her voice lowered to a whisper. "I _am_ wearing your 49ers jersey though." For some reason that she still didn't fully understand, Dick got a kick out of her wearing his shirts. It was like flipping a sex-switch on for him.

Of course, if she was honest, everything was like a sex-switch with Dick.

"Are you really?" His voice also softened, dropping by a couple of decibels.

She responded innocently, "Playing X-Men II? Yup. I'm Storm. I love her wicked white hair."

"I don't care about the fucking game," Dick grumbled, "are you… are you really wearing my jersey?"

Putting the game on pause Mac smiled and settled into the couch more comfortably. "Mmmm, hmmmm."

Dick groaned over the phone. "Fuck, I miss you."

"I miss you too."

Dick couldn't stop the stupid grin that broke over his face. The past four months had been fabulous.

About a half a year ago, he'd finally admitted to himself that the woman who had somehow become his best female – well, his only female – friend, was _more_ than a 'buddy' to him. After he'd made that realization, it had taken Dick a solid 2 months of being an undeniable, unavoidable, pain-in-the ass (a fact that Mac had attested to numerous times) before he was finally able to convince _her_ that he was serious.

But he _had_ eventually convinced her to give in. And when she did give in, Dick was a goner; he didn't stand a chance.

Of course, now, he was stuck with the problem of not knowing where Mac actually stood on the subject of their relationship. Oh, she called him Dickie, and Sweetie, and other terms of endearment… but did she mean what she said? It was because of _her request_ that no one knew about their relationship. If he'd had her okay, he'd have thrown open the windows at The Grand, and yelled 'Mackie's mine!' at the top of his lungs. But he didn't have her okay. A fact that made him wonder if he actually had her at all.

"So my Blond Adonis," Mac continued, a vision of Dick's smiling face in her head, "what sort of trouble are you and our thespian friend, Logan getting in to?"

"Wouldn't Logan have to be a girl to be a thespian?" And it then it was Dick's turn to imagine a smile on his girlfriend's face.

"Thespian you nut, not a lesbian."

"It would be kind of cool to have my two best friends macking on one another, erh, if Logan was a girl too."

"What IS it with guys and girl-on-girl action? You don't feel guy-on-guy action is hot…. And IF two girls are into one another, you guys realize you stand the proverbial ice cube's chance in hell of actually getting invited to join in on the sexiness, don't you?"

"It's still a chance babe, it's still a chance."

"The eternal optimists huh?"

"If we guys weren't persistent in our dreaming, I wouldn't have caught you."

Mac felt a flutter in her belly. A flutter that had everything to do with Dick being so damn sweet. But the flutter was quickly followed by doubt. Boys, Casablancas boys in particular, had not turned out to be a race she could trust. And it was her trust, or lack thereof, that was holding her back from totally placing her confidence in Dick. Physically, of course, she had given in, she'd been there, done that. And, uhh, _WOW_! _So, good_! But emotionally, she wasn't there. She wouldn't let herself go there. Why? Because she knew, somewhere in the back of her head, that as soon as she totally surrendered to Dick she'd be destroyed. As much as she had cared about Max, Bronson, and Cassidy… Dick – Dick betraying her would devastate her.

So she kept him at arms length.

Ignoring the belly flutter, she steered the conversation back into safe waters. "So, what are you and Logan doing today?"

Dick saw the question for what it was, an attempt to avoid his affection, but he didn't push it. "Strip club, bar, strip club, bar, and oh yeah, the drug den."

"Ahhh, nothing special then for the two of you, huh?"

He chuckled, "How about you? Any big plans today?"

_'Tell him you're going to buy more pregnancy tests, just to be certain, and that you've left a message for your doctor to have an official test done. Tell him!'_

"Umm, nope. Nothing too special. Veronica and I will be doing a little shopping. As a matter of fact I need to go soon, I – I just wanted to call and say 'hi'."

"Hi." His tone, was in that lower range again, a timbre that made her knees weak. Fortunately, she was already sitting down so….

"What's your return date again?"

"30th." He smiled again. "Why, do you miss me?"

"More than you know." Her voice was soft and open.

Dick's breath caught. "Mackie, baby, are you okay?"

 _'Tell HIM_!' "Umm, yeah, I'm fine. I – I, I have to go. Have fun at the drug dens, and, umm, I'll talk to you tomorrow." Mac disconnected the phone before Dick could call her on her lie. Dropping her head against the arm of the couch, she blew out a puff of air. "Well this just sucks," she breathed quietly.

**DoVeMaDi**

Veronica stared at the dessert menu as she waited for Mac to come back from the ladies room. They were treating themselves to dessert and coffee after three hours of intensive therapeutic shopping. Shopping for clothes, that led to shopping for gifts for Dick, that led to the purchase of baby MaDi's first gift. Veronica smiled and glanced at the bag that contained the purple stuffed elephant with a head of rainbow coloured hair.

When she had seen the elephant with the multicolored hair, it had screamed 'Mac' to her and she had to buy it. Mac had giggled, and then she'd burst into tears, and then she'd declared a profound desire for chocolate.

Who was Veronica to prevent another woman from gaining access to chocolate?

Tucking their purchases a little more securely onto the chair next to her she looked up as a shadow fell across the table.

A Lamb shaped shadow.

"Why am I not surprised to see you at the mall in the middle of the day?" Veronica asked. "Is this normally where you disappear to when the citizens of Neptune expect you to be working? I would have guessed 'strip club', but, I suppose, you can only do that so many days in a row before the ta-tas start to all look alike."

"That's where you're wrong Mars, every breast is special and unique," Lamb glanced at Veronica's chest before sitting down across from her. "So –"

"Here you go Love, double caramel soy latte and a decaf Mocha Melt." The waitress smiled and placed the drinks Veronica and Mac had ordered earlier on the table. Turning to Lamb, her smile brightened, "How about you handsome? Would you like anything?"

Lamb flashed his best 'make-a-woman's-panties-fly-off" smile and shook his head. "No thanks. Maybe next time."

"All right then, call me over if you change your mind," she turned back Veronica, "or if you and your friend decide on a dessert."

Lamb watched the sway of the waitress' hips as she walked away. She was a from-the-bottle red head, a little flashy for his tastes, but she was pretty. He dragged his eyes back to Veronica and found her looking at him and shaking her head.

"Are all women just pieces of meat to you?"

He settled back in his chair and let his eyes drift from her face down to her chest and then down across her slender arms and fingers. He watched her slowly stir her coffee. She was undeniably beautiful, from her blonde hair to her big blue eyes, to the smile that – when not accompanied by a snarky comment—was a complete turn-on. More often than he cared to remember, he'd found himself trapped behind his desk for a few minutes after she left his office, doing his best to force his body to stop reacting her presence.

Being attracted to one's nemesis was a pain in the ass. Of course – he glanced at the bag sitting next to her and read the blue and pink "Little Bundles" label – now that she was apparently pregnant, he would hopefully, finally, be able to fight that attraction.

"I'm a man, and I'm not blind. All good looking women will get a 'good look' from me." He grinned and added, "except for pregnant women. I've never really had that... fetish." Lamb nodded his head in the direction of the bag sitting to the right of Veronica. "So I guess the tests were positive?"

 _'Crap! Why did that bag have_ _to be on top?'_ She couldn't say the gift was for a friend, he might not be smart, but he was smart enough to put two and two together, and he'd figure out that Mac was _the_ friend. _'Crap, crap, crap, crap_.'

She took a deep breath and plastered on a smile. "Not that it's any of your business, but yes, the tests were positive."

Lamb shook his head. "I knew you weren't frigid Mars, but I didn't think you were dumb enough to get yourself knocked up."

"Dumb enough?! It wasn't planned! Just like I'm sure _you_ weren't planned Sheriff. It just 'happened'."

"Did the daddy forget to 'wrap his present' before you guys used it?"

"Could you be more crass?"

"I could be, but I'm holding back and being polite. Who's the dad, Mars?"

"And she repeats slowly enough for him to comprehend 'it's .none .of. your. business!'"

For a few seconds Lamb silently studied her; out of the corner of his eye he saw Mac heading toward the table. "I'm making it my business." As he stood up he took hold of the cup of coffee she was lifting to her lips, "I'll take that for you..., caffeine's not good for the baby."

Nodding at Mac as he walked past her, he headed out of the café.

"What did Lamb want?" Mac asked as she settled into her seat.

Veronica groaned, "Mackenzie, you're going to owe me BIG by the time the next three weeks are up."


	3. Sometimes We Pull Out The Big Guns

**MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe**

The offices of Drs. Smythe, Janes, and Johanson, MDS, DOS, OBGyn were scary. Mac surreptiously studied the waiting room. Pale pinks, blues, greens and yellows decorated the walls, the chairs…. They even decorated the employees. Nurses and receptionists wrapped in pastel shaded scrubs floated here and there throughout the waiting room and the exam rooms. It was like some big evil pastel cult.

'Stress on the word 'big',' Mac thought as she watched yet another woman with – bun in oven – waddle past her. Veronica, seated next to Mac on the cushioned lobby chairs, was currently buried in a copy of People, reading something about Kirsten Bell and Jason Dohring having a torrid affair; but she had previously, somewhat gleefully 'reminded' Mac, that soon she too would begin to resemble a 'waddling Weeble Wobble'.

Seriously, being friends with Veronica…not as easy as you'd think.

If Dr Smythe's exam agreed with the 3 at-home pregnancy tests that Mac had taken, she knew she would eventually become a human Weeble Wobble…. But she'd grow a tail and five eyes before she became a representative of the pastel parade!

Her kid, boy or girl, would wear those pansy-ass conformist colors over her dead body! No, Mac would dress her baby in vibrant purples, blues, reds, greens… celebratory colors. She smiled to herself; she might even match her hair streaks to her baby's outfits….

"What are you grinning about Mackenzie?" Veronica put down the People magazine and raised her arms over her head in a stretch.

"Nothing. Stupid stuff."

"Share! I love stupid… as evidenced by my past boyfriends."

"Logan wasn't stupid Veronica."

Veronica noticed the serious tone in Mac's voice. "No Logan wasn't, isn't, stupid. But he was still a mistake. A growth lesson, a painful one, but a mistake none the less."

"You," Mac couldn't look Veronica in the eyes and talk to her about Logan, she'd seen a lot of pain in Veronica's eyes at various times, but invariably, Logan – Logan's name brought the most sadness to her friend's brilliant eyes. "You don't think you two will ever get back together? I mean, you guys do have a history of, well, see-sawing into one another's lives."

"That's part of the problem between the two of us… When he's up, I'm down. When I'm up, he's down. We never trusted each other enough to not EXPECT ourselves to drag the other one down. It was like, even when we were happy we were always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for the other one to cheat, or steal, or lie, or hide, or…. I think we both know, this time, that we are better off being friends. As friends, there is no shoe dropping…. And even if the shoe does drop, we're there to help each other; we're not there to say 'See I knew you'd drop the fucking shoe!'"

"Who knew shoes could be such an important relationship analogy tool?"

Veronica grinned at Mac. "Ahhh, my friend. You have much to learn about the importance of 'the shoe'."

They giggled until a voice from across the room called out "Cynthia."

Mac froze and her eyes went wide.

"It'll be okay Mac." Veronica reached over and hugged her buddy. "No matter what they say, it'll be okay."

"Yeah. Easy for the non life-carrying-girl to say." Mac mumbled with a nervous smile as she stood up and headed toward the nurse.

**MaDiDoVe**

25 minutes later, Veronica welcomed a flushed, excited Mac back into the waiting room. One look at her glowing face, and Veronica knew all she needed to know.

"Here's the prescription the doctor wants you to get filled, and an appointment reminder." The nurse handed Mac two pieces of paper then smiled. "Congratulations Cindy."

"Well, no need to ask you what the doctor said," Veronica hugged Mac again. Veronica wasn't big on hugging… and, well, neither really was Mac, but if pregnancy news didn't warrant a hug between friends, what did?

Mac said the words just to hear them. "I'm pregnant."

"Yup."

" _Pregnant_ , pregnant."

"Versus?"

"I – I guess I just didn't let myself fully believe it before. But it's real. It's true. I'm going to have a baby Dick!"

When Veronica burst into laughter, Mac looked puzzled for a second while she replayed what she had just said in her mind. "Sometimes, you're as juvenile as Dick is!"

"I can't help it. I am soooo buying you a t-shirt that says 'Baby Dick Onboard'." Veronica giggled some more and held the door of the clinic open for Mac. "Do you want me to go to the pharmacy with you today or tomorrow? The nurse gave you a prescription right?"

"Hmm?" Mac had her hand on her stomach and her mind was clearly focused on the miracle growing inside of her.

Veronica felt a small twinge of jealousy shoot through her. She brushed it off and wiggled her fingers at Mac. "Prescription. You. Me. Pharmacy. Today? Tomorrow?"

Mac shook her head with a smile and handed Veronica the prescription for her review. Veronica had a definite mothering streak in her. Well, Mac was calling it 'mothering' others might call it 'controlling'.

As they headed to the Saturn, Veronica scanned the prescription. "Folic Acid, and a drug that I couldn't pronounce if my life depended on it. Why can't they make the names of drugs easier… like 'Bob'? Why can't we just go to the pharmacist and ask him for a dose of Bob? Why do the names have to be so –" Veronica looked up at Mac and groaned. Just in front of her friend, leaning against her beloved silver Saturn, was Lamb. Veronica stopped in her tracks and let out a curse. "Fuck a duck!"

Lamb smirked. "That wasn't very ladylike, Mars. Hi, Mac."

Mac smiled slightly, but remained quiet, hanging back behind Veronica so that she had a good view of the fireworks.

Veronica's eyes narrowed. "Are you following me? Do you have **my** car GPS'd or something?"

Lamb made mental note to check _his_ car for a GPS tracker when he got back to the office. "I told you I was making your 'situation' my business, Mars."

"You don't own me! You can't just, just 'make my life' your business!"

"If you'd tell me who the father was, I'd let it go." He straightened and hooked his thumbs in his belt. "I bet Keith doesn't even know yet, does he?" Her silence confirmed his supposition. "Someone has to look out for you now…, until your dad is aware… or until the baby's daddy is around. And at present, I don't see either of them here lending you support."

Veronica glanced back at Mac, "Look, I'll definitely tell my dad anything that he needs to know, but that's my right and my responsibility. And, I – I have Mac with me for support."

"No offense to Mac," Lamb nodded his head at her apologetically then turned back to Veronica, "but if you're pregnant, you either need your man, or your parent with you. Your buddy won't cut it."

Don's eyes were trained on Veronica so he missed the fleeting look of sadness that raced across Mac's face. A look of sadness that had everything to do with _her_ missing Dick.

Veronica snorted. "So in the stead of my Dad or, or the baby's daddy, YOU'RE going to be my 'supportive' male presence?"

"If need be."

"We don't like one another. I give you a headache, and you… you're a pain in my ass." Veronica stepped toward her car and motioned for Lamb to move to the side. "Maybe, if all the planets collide, pigs start to fly, and an ice cube in hell manages not to melt, I'll turn to you for manly support." Veronica climbed in and slammed the door shut and waited for Mac to get in on the passenger side before she started the car. "Until then Lamb, will you please just go away?"

"If you would just tell me who the father is."

"Why? What are you going to do with that information?" She eyed Lamb. "Beat him up until he comes to my doctors appointments with me?"

"If necessary." Lamb's eyes were steely and serious.

Veronica was silent for a second. "You know, you're a lot like Logan was. Beat the opposition to a pulp first, and ask questions later. All balls, no brains." She watched his face tighten. There was no love lost between Logan and Lamb, but it had just now occurred to her WHY they didn't like one another. They were too much alike.

 _'She did NOT just compare me to Echolls!'_ He took a deep breath. "Produce a father, Mars. Or tell your dad; I'll be out of your hair faster than you can say my name."

Veronica growled helplessly and drove off.

As they turned the corner, she looked at Mac. "You do know –"

"—that I owe you big time?" Mac laughed, "Ummm, yeah, I got that."

**MaDiDoVe**

Other than the music that played softly over the radio, the rest of the ride back to Mac's place was quiet; both women lost in their own thoughts.

It was only after she climbed out of the car that Mac turned to Veronica, a mischievous look on her face. "Do you and Lamb always fight like that?"

Veronica smiled, "No, sometimes we actually pull out the big guns…. Why?"

"Hmm, nothing really. I was just thinking that Dick and I use to fight like that too." Mac shut the passenger side door and walked off leaving Veronica sitting in her car with her jaw in her lap.


	4. Too 'Dr. Phil'

**MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe MaDi DoVe**

"So Dude, are you going to consider me a flake if I tell you that I'm heading back to Neptune early?"

"I already consider you a flake." Logan responded without skipping a beat. Tearing one eye away from the TV he glanced at Dick, "You're going back to Neptune early? How early?"

"I moved my flight to tomorrow."

Logan paused the game, "What the fuck!? That's like a week and a half early! What's up?"

Dick sheepishly scratched his head, so this was the tricky part. Mac had made him do some sort of stupid pinky swear thing that he wouldn't tell anyone about the two of them until she gave him a thumbs up. Problem is, he was starting to wonder if she would EVER give him the thumbs up. Either way, he hadn't broken his promise, he hadn't told anyone, not even Logan, how fucking ecstatically happy he was to have sacked Mac…. And oddly enough he meant 'sacked' in the bedded AND the captured way.

Long story short: Logan still didn't know about him and Mac.

Long story longer: Dick didn't have an excuse for why he was leaving New York and his bud 10 days early. At least, he didn't have an excuse that Mac wasn't going to kick his ass for sharing.

_Fuck it._

Dropping his game controller on the coffee table, Dick took a deep breath and looked at Logan. "Okay, Dude, you have to swear that you won't tell anyone. You can't tell Fennel," Dick still didn't get THAT friendship. "And you can't tell Evil Weevil. And you definitely, DEFINITELY can't tell your ex. She'd kill me. She'd kill me if she even thought I'd thought about what I'm gonna tell you."

Logan turned to Dick, "Shit. Now you have to fucking tell me."

"Do you fucking swear?"

"Yeah, yeah. I swear, with me to the grave."

"Would it make it a stronger promise if we pinky swear or something?"

"Dude! What are we, kindergartners!?"

"Uh, yeah… right… that's what I thought. But you swear, right? I could get into some deep shit for this."

"Did you kill someone?"

"Huh? No!"

"Rape someone?"

"Fuck! Logan!"

"Does it have anything to do with national security?"

"No! Shit! It might involve my nads being twisted – painfully, but no laws were broken."

"Then I fucking swear, stack of bibles, I swear on my burgeoning career, no one will get 'nothing' from me."

"I'm dating Mac." The words spilled out of Dick's mouth like lava and it felt like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

Logan dropped his controller and turned to fully face Dick. "No. Fucking. Way. Pull the other one man."

"I'm not pulling nothing of yours.... And I'm telling the truth. Me and Mac. Mac and me. We've got a thing going on."

"No way. Mac would never… And you! She's not your… Dude! You've got to be kidding me!"

"Yeah I know 'she would never', and I know 'she's not my', but, she did, and she is, and it's kinda fucking awesome."

"You're not shitting me?"

"Apparently, my good looks are more powerful than I thought." Dick grinned cockily before more soberly adding, "I'm still not exactly certain what she sees in me, but she sees something. And I'm not going to fight her about it. Even if she's delusional." He chuckled quietly then addressed the other half of Logan's partially worded argument against the sanity of Mac and Dick. "Dude, have you ever really looked at Mac? She's fucking beautiful. Her smile is amazing, kind of teasing, and sweet all at the same time. And her eyes; she's got fucking beautiful eyes. I look at them sometimes, and I swear, I fucking get lost in them. And it's a good kind of lost… the kind where you don't ever want to be found again. And, shit… man, her body is perfect. She's all short and petite, with this great, great ass, and her tits –"

"Stop! You're turning me on, and I'm tired of yanking my own chain, so unless you're offering…."

"YOU'RE definitely not my type."

"Any port in a storm." Logan grinned.

"We need to get you a girlfriend. Bad. Are you sure Ronnie won't take you back?"

Logan's face sobered. "I think we'd both take one another back – at times – but is it the right thing for us to do? No. We hurt each other when we're near one another."

"You only hurt the ones you love?" Dick offered philosophically.

"Yeah… in theory that makes sense… but we," he puffed out a breath of air. "Fuck, I don't even understand 'why we don't work' myself and I'm trying to explain it to you! When Veronica and I are close to one another, we want it to work. We want to mould ourselves around one another and fill in all the missing pieces, but, it's like, even seeing the pieces that are missing, we can't bend ourselves that way. I know she wants me to 'be there for her, IF she needs me.' And I need her to trust me. To trust that I'm not going to fuck up our relationship. The two 'wants' don't work together. I'm not a sit back and wait guy… if I see her in trouble, I'm going to go in, fists blazing and money talking. She's not a sit back and trust the guy not to fuck up kind of girl. Especially when he's got a track record." Logan quieted for a second. "She needs a guy who either can sit back and wait to dive in when she gives him the sign, and honestly what kind of guy does that? OR, she needs a guy who will fucking stand up to her and not take her shit… And a guy who she can trust."

The music from the paused video game was the only sound in the room for a few seconds then Logan shook his head, "Fuck this Dr. Phil shit! So you and Mac huh?"

Dick grinned, "Yeah. Me and Mac."

"So how'd that happen? And why am I keeping it a secret? And what the fuck does you macking on Mac have to do with you going home early?"

Dick ticked off his answers on his fingers. "She kissed me. She wants to keep it on the QT. Something's wrong."

"Yeah, okay, I know I said enough Dr. Phil, but, erh, can you flesh that out just a bit more?"

"Okay, pay attention little one. A: Mac was helping me with my Computer Studies For Doofuses class, and one thing led to another, and I dared her to let loose and do something wild. And she did. She kissed me. B: She made me pin – erh – promise I wouldn't spread the news about us being involved to anyone." He scratched his neck, "I think she's worried they're going to have the same reaction you did… aaannnnnddd I don't think she's positive that I'm right for her. I don't even know that I'm right for her. Fuck, as a matter of fact I KNOW I'm not right for her."

More video game music filled the room.

Dick and Logan spoke simultaneously. "Too 'Dr. Phil'."

"Yeah, well any way, point C: Something is seriously wrong. She's like called me two to three times every day for the past three days, and while I'd talk to her till my head exploded," Logan, bro-style, ignored the blush that crept up Dick's face, "I've normally been the one calling her. And if I ask what's wrong… I get 'nothing'."

"And we all know that when a woman says 'nothing, she means 'something'." Logan added.

"Yeah."

"So…?"

"I'm thinking she wants to break up with me. That she's having second thoughts, but she doesn't know exactly how to say it."

"So she's calling you more?"

"Get's up the nerve, loses the nerve, I guess. All I know is if I'm going down, I'm going down fighting. I want her to tell me to my face. And I want to make it as hard for her as possible." He looked Logan in the eyes. "I don't know, maybe when faced by my sheer awesomeness she'll change her mind again?"

"Yeah. Sheer awesomeness." Logan responded drily.

"Dude! Where's the support?"

" _Dude_ , I left it with Dr. Phil. So tomorrow huh?"

"Yeah."

"And I really can't tell anyone?" Logan teasingly batted his eyes.

"Beyond the whole, 'you swore' thing, I WILL kick your ass and then feed it to you."

Hitting the start button and turning the game back on, Logan taunted. "Dude, you can't even kick my ass in Halo 3."

* * *

"So where are you now?" Dick crooked the cell phone between his shoulder and ear and pulled his key out of the ignition. He was hoping he'd guessed her location correctly.

"In my room, sifting my way through a pile of laundry that has come alive and is crawling its way out of my closet."

He had guessed right. "That so doesn't sound like fun. Do you need a maid?"

"Dick, what have I told you about lavish, expensive gifts?"

"Only on your birthday, valentine's day, and Christmas." He mimicked her tone of voice almost perfectly."

"Well at least you were listening."

"I hear everything you say, beautiful."

Mac sat back against her bed. _Even when he was being a jerk, he was adorable._ "How do you do that?"

"Do what?" Dick climbed up the last flight of stairs to Mac's floor in Alowak Dorm.

"Manage to be all sweet and an asshole at the same time."

He laughed, "it takes lots and lots of practice. Erh, hey, Mackie?"

"Yeah?"

"Answer your door." He disconnected the call then knocked at her door.

"Answer my…." She heard the dial tone on her phone at the same time that she heard a knock at her door. "Dick?" She tried to reconnect the lost call at the same time that she stood up and headed to her door. "Dick?" C _rap, crappy crap phone. I'm going to have to get one of those ones that Veronica has. The ones that work underwater, in tunnels, six feet under, in vaults…._ Pressing the redial button as she unlocked and opened her door, Mac absolutely froze as she heard Dick's phone ring at the same time that she saw him leaning against her door frame… grin and sexy eyes focused directly on her.

"Dick!?" Without giving him even a second to respond, Mac launched herself at his form; hugging him as she wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his hips.

Stumbling back a few steps as he enveloped her in his arms, Dick pulled in the scent of her hair and her skin as he held her close. _Okay so maybe she doesn't want to dump me._


	5. Chloroform

**ConceivableCONCEIVABLEConceivableCONCEIVABLEConcei vableCONCEIVABLE**

Like some sort of innate, horrible, internal radar, Veronica sighed and hung her head with the realization that her perpetual shadow was near again. "Gonna help me across the street, Sheriff?" She stared at the crosswalk light, willing it to change so that she could escape his presence.

"Do you NEED help getting across the street, Mars?"

"No. But then again, I don't need you breathing down my neck every five seconds, telling me how to live my life either – and you keep doing that."

"Yeah, well, I get pleasure out of that."

She glared up at him.

"See, it's little looks like that one that make hounding you worth all of the pain."

"I wonder how you'd like the pain of me tasering your ass?" she mumbled under her breath.

"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that."

"Nothing." She glanced back up at him then chirped, "You know, sadism is a definitive sign of psychotic issues."

"And trying to be a single mom is the epitome of sanity?"

Veronica's jaw dropped down. _Did he really just….?_

Lamb saw the lightning flash in Veronica's eyes and he geared himself up for a fight.

"Women have been single moms for… for… forever! There's nothing insane or psychotic about being a single mom."

"Even when you could be a fully functioning mom, dad, child unit?"

Veronica struck low and hard, "C'mon sheriff you, above anyone, should know there's no such thing." His jaw tightened and she could almost hear him grinding his teeth.

He and she had rarely discussed his family life – his childhood – but there had been those few, infrequent moments, back when they'd been friends, that he'd hinted at the horribleness that had been his childhood. It was mean of her to bring (even subtly) memories of that childhood up. Mean and hypocritical… it wasn't like having a mom who pickled herself in liquor on a regular basis equaled normality.

Lamb surprised her by withholding his retort, and instead, asking her a question. "When are you due?"

Veronica blinked a couple of times trying to wrap her mind around the switch in topic. "Why do you care? Why are you torturing me with your pursuit of information regarding my… my… business?! And," she swung around fully so that she was standing directly in front of him, "why are you putting more energy into trying to find out who my supposed baby's daddy is, then you put into solving Neptune's serious crimes?! And why!" she huffed loudly, "are you so damn tall!?"

Lamb laughed at the spitting blonde cat in front of him; which apparently did nothing to make her calm down.

"Arrrggggh!" Spinning around, Veronica angrily began to stalk across the street. _Screw the light. And screw Mr. Tall-stubborn-ineffective-stupid-sheriff Lamb!_ How he managed to piss her off so thoroughly, so quickly and easily, she didn't know. But he did. He pissed her off truly and royally every single time he was near.

Veronica was still seething when she'd made it nearly half way across the street and it was her focus on Lamb and his pain-in-the-assedness that made her oblivious to the car that was hurtling towards her.

Lamb, on the other hand, while distracted by Veronica, wasn't so distracted that he didn't see what was about to happen.

 _Oooomph_!

One minute, Veronica was standing in the street, and the next she was out of breath, lying on the ground with the hard, um muscular, frame of Don Lamb on top of her.

One hand at the back of Veronica's head and the other underneath her hip, Don eyed the car that had almost hit both of them as it sped down the street. Blue pick-up, 532 in the license, he made a mental note to try and track down the son-of-a-bitch owner.

Turning back to an unusually quiet Mars, he found himself face to face, and chest to chest… and hip to … He made himself focus. "Are you alright?"

Veronica could see Lamb's lips moving, but she couldn't hear what he was saying. She couldn't hear much of all… nothing except for the faint thundering of her heart. _He still has wonderful eyes. Really wonderful blue eyes. And a great strong jaw._

Awareness of how close he was to Veronica - that he could smell the mint on her breath, the almonds in her hair, the Chanel at her neck - the awareness hit him all at once. He realized the bright thing would be for him to clamber off of her, if only because they were lying in the middle of the street. But, as Mars was so frequently reminding him, brains weren't his forte.

He was starting to think she was right. No brains.

But he had plenty of feelings. And right now, his feelings were telling him to stay right where he was; cushioned by her slight frame, breathing her in.

It didn't help that she was staring up at him with that deer-in-the-headlights look of hers. He hadn't seen that look on her face since… well since she was 13 or 14 years old, and young handsome Deputy Lamb was the most amazing person in Neptune – heck, in the world – next to her dad.

No, Lamb hadn't seen that look on her face since she'd come to fully understand just what an asshole he could be.

Seeing it again, at the same time that he was this close to her, was making him stupid. He grinned inwardly, or as Mars would say: stupider.

Just as he was beginning to wonder if, by some freakish twilight zone rule, he was having the same effect on _her_ brain functions, she blinked. Her dark, crystal blue eyes fluttered a few times in quick succession and then, the tart bitch of a woman he'd grown accustomed to reappeared.

"Done feeling me up, Sheriff?"

"If you think **that's** 'feeling you up' it's no wonder you got pregnant! What? Did the guy tell you that he was catching a cold and just wanted to keep his dick warm?"

"Get. Off. Now!" Veronica's eyes flashed as she pressed her hands against Lamb's immovable chest.

"And the magic word would be?"

"Taser?"

"Don't make me arrest you for carrying a concealed weapon."

"Don't make me kick you in the nuts."

"Don't make me arrest you for assaulting an officer of the law."

"I hate you." Her voice was sweet venom.

"I know." His voice was warm and low.

"Off!"

"Magic word."

Veronica clenched her jaw shut, then bit out a response through barely moving lips. "Please."

"That's all I needed to hear." Hopping off of Veronica's warm, prone form, Lamb stood up, brushed off his pants and shirt with his hands, then he extended a hand to Veronica to help her up.

Stubborn woman that she was, Veronica ignored Lamb's silent offer of help, and scrambled to her feet, somewhat gracelessly, but none-the-less, without Lamb's aid.

As she wiped dirt and asphalt off of her clothing, she muttered something under her breath about men with big badges and little appendages.

"Your mouth is still intact, so I'm guessing you didn't hurt your head." Don glanced at Veronica's still flat abs, "are… are you feeling okay… everywhere else?"

Wanting to tear off Lamb's head for continually making her aware of his presence, Veronica couldn't stop herself from being aware that he was asking about 'her baby'… he, jerky asshole that he was, WAS concerned about her make-believe child. Which, she hated to admit, was kind of sweet, and kind of charming, and, ummm, even kind of human. With a sigh she gave a little pep talk to herself.

_I can be polite. And adult. And… and I can leave his damn head on his shoulders, because I'm bigger than he is… emotionally._

"Other than the fact that I'm covered in Eau du Lamb? I'm all fine. Thanks for asking." Only after she spoke did Veronica realize there was a possible double entendre in her sentence, and she groaned silently as she bent down to pick up her bag. _Eau du Lamb? Really Veronica?_ Brushing off her bag Veronica surreptitiously glanced up and down the road before heading to the sidewalk – her head held high.

"What? No, 'thank you?' No, 'Thanks, I don't know what I would have done without you?' No, 'if it wasn't for you, I'd be road kill, so thanks?' I expected more from you, Mars."

"Will this do? She turned around and flipped him off at the same time that she said, "Thanks!"

Somehow, his laughter didn't make her feel better.

**ConceivableCONCEIVABLEConceivableCONCEIVABLEConcei vableCONCEIVABLE**

"Dick? Dick!?" Mac knelt beside Dick's motionless form. As soon as he'd fainted she'd run to the bathroom to get a cool towel, and she was using that now along his brow. "Dick, honey?"

When he finally gave a groan of response, Mac inwardly sighed. At least the news hadn't killed him. That would have been a sucky story to tell the baby. _Mommy, what happened to my daddy? Well sweetie, he keeled over dead when mommy told him she was expecting._ Yeah, loads of suckiness there.

"Dick?" She leaned down and used one of her hands to pry one of his eyes open.

"Let go woman." Dick rasped quietly as he struggled to close his eyes.

This time she verbalized her relief. "Are you okay? Did you hit something…? Something important - like your head - when you fell to the ground?"

Dick's mind was still a little fuzzy, so he wasn't quite certain as to what Mac was referring to. "Fell to the ground? What ground?"

_Oh God, he's got amnesia!_

"The ground you're lying on."

"Oh, that explains why I'm so uncomfortable."

"Dick, do you remember coming to my room?"

He nodded then added, "I got a big ass Mackie hug."

"Yes. And a couple of kisses too."

"Yeaaaahhhhhh. I liked the Mackie kisses. Want to give me a few more?" Dick raised one of his hands to Mac's waist, skimming his fingers up over the swell of her breast.

"Hands down, Amnesia Boy!"

Dick frowned petulantly.

"Do you remember me pulling you out of the hall and in here so we could talk?"

"Yeah… I've noticed you're all about the talking Mac. Seriously… less talky, more Macky.

"What did we talk about Dick?"

"Hmmm?" His hand was creeping back up her waist.

"What did we talk about when I pulled you in here?"

"Uhmm, well, you said you had some news. And that you thought it was pretty good news. And I asked you if it was about that package we had ordered from Naughty But Nice, and you blushed, and you said 'no'. And then… then…" Dick's hands stopped their journey up Mac's body, and his eyes flew to hers. "Then, you said,' we're pregnant'?" His voice had dropped to a whisper.

"Well, you don't have amnesia." Mac smiled nervously.

"You're pregnant?!"

She nodded.

"We're pregnant?!"

She nodded again.

Dick's eyes left Mac's and they trailed down to her belly. Lowering his hand, he placed his palm against her stomach, feeling the place where his child… their child… was growing and living. His soft curse of awe, "Fuck me!" was the only thing he said for several minutes.

Eventually, Mac's insecurities kicked in, placing her hand on Dick's chin, and tilting it up she asked, "So, I take it you're happy about this whole thing? About the mini Dick or Dickette?"

"Happy? Happy!? Mac, dude, I'm, I'm… like more than happy. I'm… dude, how can you even ask if I'm happy!?"

Mac swatted his chest…. "You fainted. It could have been from happiness or from disgust."

"Dude! I so did not faint!"

Mac snorted. "Oh no? Then how do you explain your present location on the floor?"

"Chloroform?"

Mac smiled and shifted so that she was lying next to Dick on the ground, her head curled in the crook of his shoulder. "Umm, okay sweetie, we can go with the chloroform story."

"I thought so." Dick turned in toward Mac and kissed her forehead.

_Mac's having a baby… my baby! I'm going to be a father._

Dick smiled and pulled the most important thing in his life closer to him.


	6. TFFitH

**ConceivableCONCEIVABLEConceivableCONCEIVABLEConcei vableCONCEIVABLE**

"I'm going to make some nachos, do you want another beer Hun?"

"How about a coke?"

"One coke, and a giant plate of cheesy goodness on its way!" Mac leaned down and delivered a quick peck to Dick's lips before heading off to the kitchen area to make the nachos and drinks.

"You two do realize you're going to make me puke, don't you?" Veronica spoke without lifting her eyes from the magazine she was reviewing. Dick had been back for a week now, and she'd had plenty of opportunity to watch Mac and Dick and their utter lovey doveyness.

It was cute.

In a sickening, sugary, I-can't-believe-they're-together kind of way.

Every time she saw the two of them close to one another, she found herself shaking her head in shock. Dick was adorable with Mac… fawning over her like… well… like a new born babe. And Mac… who knew Mac could be teasingly sexy? Heck, who knew either of them could be sexy… or that they'd even consider being sexy around one another? _Yeah, it was definitely pukeworthy_ … _of course, that thought is coming from the woman who hasn't been around a sexually intriguing man in, what? Six Months?_

_I'm not bitter or anything. Really._

Veronica snorted quietly.

"You can leave Chez Casablanca whenever you want to Mars; if you don't want to see the joy and happiness that is Mac and me, that is."

"I'd be happy to leave. If you hadn't gotten me into this mess I'm in right now." She paused and realized just how unintentionally humorous that sentence was. Throwing down her magazine she spoke to both Mac and Dick… "C'mon guys… 3 weeks… do I really need to wait three more weeks to wipe that smug grin off of Lamb's face? Can't we at least tell HIM that it's MAC you knocked up?"

"No!" Mac jumped in nervously. "It's bad luck to share pregnancy information prior to the end of the third month!"

Dick shrugged his shoulders in Veronica's direction. "Sorry Ronnie, if Mackie says no… no it is."

"Okay, I find it vastly disturbing that you're pulling off the cute thing!"

Dick grinned even as he shook his head and denied Veronica's observation. "Dude, I'm a guy, I don't do cute. Unless the 'cute' I'm doing is Mac."

Veronica groaned as Mac smiled adoringly at Dick. "Laugh it up buttercups! But how would you like it if our fair sheriff was on your ass about being an unwed and unclaimed mother!"

"Yo, Ron… he IS on my ass. He thinks I'm your baby's daddy!" Dick frowned as if the thought disgusted him.

"Umm, first, wipe the look of repulsion off of your face. And secondly, how DID that misunderstanding occur?"

Mac blushed and smiled sheepishly in Veronica's direction as she re-entered the living room… "That would be my bad. He kind of overheard me teasing Dick and telling him that he was the baby's daddy."

"Not that I even asked the question."

"I know baby," she put the plate of food on the table and then handed Dick his coke before settling into her seat… i.e. Dick's lap. "I take full responsibility for the misunderstanding." Mac delivered another kiss to Dick's lips.

"Seriously...! I'm still here guys! Bleeech!" Veronica shivered then waved her hand in Mac's direction. "Continue with the explaining, Mackenzie.

"Hmm, oh, yeah, well, like I said, I was just messing around with Dick, and I said something like 'Yes, you're the father of the baby!'… and I said that kind of loudly, and, well, as soon as I said it, I kind of looked around cuz I realized just how loud I'd been, and, well, there was Lamb." Mac reached for Dick's soda.

"Ehhh! Caffeine!"

"Pleasssssse?" Mac looked at Dick pleadingly. "I haven't had any caffeine since yesterday, I'm dying here."

Dick sighed. "With a pout like that, how did your parents ever say no to you?"

She grinned, "They didn't."

"Fine. One… two sips. Make em count."

Veronica rubbed her forehead and took a deep breath… They really WERE cute. But they WERE also really making her sick/jealous/sick/jealous/sic… you get the point. "And you couldn't take that time to tell Lamb the truth because…?"

"One, the three month rule, and two…"

Dick interrupted Mac, "Two, Lamb was livid."

"Dick do you even know what the word livid means?"

He hugs Mac closer to him, "Mackie has made it up through the 'M's' with me in the dictionary, so yes… I do know what livid means. It means big, muscley, in my face with his hands on my shirt, Lamb."

"You're kidding right?"

"No he isn't, I… I think Lamb's a little obsessed with you and this whole pregnancy thing Veronica. He basically nailed Dick to the wall and demanded he step up to the plate with you."

"Step up to the plate?"

"Be a man, Take responsibility –"

"His exact words," Dick interrupted. "Were: 'Now that you've dipped your spoon in the pudding Casablancas, have the fucking balls to take care of the mother of your child."

"He didn't!"

"He did!" Mac and Dick responded simultaneously. Dick continued, "I promised him I would take on my responsibilities." He kissed Mac's head absently, his hand resting on her belly protectively. "So if ANYONE wants to clear up this little misunderstanding between Lamb and you, _it's me_. I like my twig and berries right where they are – attached to me – thank you very much!"

"Crap! Why is Lamb being such a pain in the ass about this?"

"Well -" Mac started and then quickly shut her mouth.

"Well…?" Veronica prompted.

"Well I was just going to say. With how umm, intense Lamb is being about this whole Veronica having a child thing, uhm, it's almost like he has a thing for you."

Dick and Veronica spoke simultaneously.

"What?!"

"Bite your tongue!"

Mac shrugged, "I'm just saying. He follows you around like a lost puppy -"

"A mean lost puppy." Dick flipped the channels on the muted T.V.

"He seems to be really, really umm, concerned about your well being –"

"Really really fucking concerned!" Dick's eyes were still trained on the television.

"And it doesn't make any sense any other way Veronica. I mean, infatuation might make a guy do the stupid stalkery things that Lamb as been doing, but I can't think of anything else that would explain his actions."

"Hatred?" Veronica offered hopefully.

"That might," Mac pulled the remote out of Dick's hand, turned off the TV and tossed the remote to the other end of the couch.

"Hey!"

"That might be an okay explanation for him trying to irritate the hell out of you. But it doesn't explain his pinning Dick to a wall and threatening to castrate him if he didn't walk the straight and narrow with you."

"Yeah, but! I mean… he's always… we've always… well except for when we were… but that…-"

Dick looked at Mac in awe, "I've never seen anyone make Veronica do that before! You are a Goddess!" Dick framed Mac's face with his hands and pulled her in for another kiss.

Veronica stared at the two of them... she stared, but she wasn't really seeing them. Instead, she was seeing Lamb's smirk as he sat across from her in the café. She was seeing his long compact frame leaning against the side of her Saturn. She was seeing his eyes, and they were filled with… _CRAP!_ "All right! That's it, I'm outta here. Have fun you two and don't do anything that… hmm, well, go ahead and do it all!"

"Bye Ronnie" Mac squealed as Dick dipped her onto the couch, effectively trapping her, and throwing a 'bye' over his shoulder without taking his focus off of 'his' woman. 

"Bye, Veronica. Call me if you want to…, DICK!... Umm, talk!"

**DoVe DoVe DoVe DoVe**

Lamb slid on his shades as he watched Veronica pull out of The Grand's parking lot. He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel a few times, and then started the car. _What the hell are you doing Don? Now would be the time to back off. You know who the father is. She was just **with** the father. Why aren't you wiping your hands clean of the situation?_ He answered his own question. _Because I'm dumb. And stupid. And a fucking Veronica Mars stalker. What the fuck?!_

**DoVe DoVe DoVe DoVe**

"Really?" Veronica looked up at the form casting a shadow over her spot in the park. "Are you really here being a massive pain in my ass?" Without waiting for Lamb to respond Veronica continued, "Why are you here in the middle of day? I thought stalkers did their best work in the dark of night."

Veronica was putting on her sunglasses as she spoke, so she missed the tightening of Lamb's shoulders at the word 'stalker'. "I'm not fucking stalking you, Mars."

She ticked facts off on her fingers: "1) you follow me everywhere. 2) The places you don't follow me to, you beat me to and wait for me to arrive. 3) You seem to think you should have full run and knowledge of my life, and 4) you won't leave me the hell alone." She peered up his long frame, "Sheriff, you're a stalker."

"I'm not a stalker," he growled as he lowered himself into a seated position on the grass beside her. As she opened her mouth to continue the debate, Lamb reached across the blanket – and across Veronica's legs – and stole a French fry from the Lux-Burger meal sitting next to her.

Veronica's jaw dropped open and she stared at him. "Did you just steal a fry?"

Lamb smiled ever so slightly before he reached across her again and this time picked up her diet soda and took a sip.

"Stop stealing my food!"

"I'm hungry."

"Get your own fries." She snuggled her fries and burger closer to her thigh and held her hand out expectantly in Lamb's direction, waiting for him to give her her soda back. _Jesus! It's like dealing with a toddler… he won't leave me alone, he takes things without asking, he –_

"Dick huh?"

Lamb's one word/half a sound question halted Veronica's inner tirade. _Shit. What do I do now_? She paused half a beat and looked at Lamb's unshaded eyes. _Time to do what I do best: be a smart-ass._

"Penis."

"What?"

"Penis." She blinked her eyes expectantly then patiently continued. "What...? We're not playing a word association game? You say Dick, I say penis?"

"Mars…," his tone was low.

"Sheriff…" she echoed his tone and lowered her hand; giving up on her soda.

"Fennell, I could see you fucking Fennell, Or," he shuddered a bit, "I could even, sort of see Navarro, but Dick?! Dick Casablancas?! Why the fuck would you let him take a dip in your pool?!"

Veronica gaped at Lamb. "You can see me fucking Fen… or… Navarro?! What…?! I… what the hell!? Lamb! You, I mean… I don't want you seeing me doing... doing… ANYTHING! And why the hell does it even matter to you if I did let… not that I'd…," she took a breath, "'a dip in my pool!?'" Veronica shot her hand out and snatched her soda back from Lamb. "You, are an idiot! I mean, I knew you were an idiot before, but I reallllly know it now!" She sipped from the straw, trying to calm down and wrap her mind around the sheer idiocy represented by Lamb. Her mind clicked on something he'd said before. "You said you'd leave me alone if you found out who, who the father of, of the baby was." She looked back up at him again, "you can start leaving now."

Lamb had stopped listening almost as soon as she started speaking. Instead, he studied the way her hair moved in the breeze. The way that her lips pursed and pouted. The way that her eyes 'sparked' as she ranted and raved at him. _There it is again. That flash of fire. The almost icy heat in her eyes._ He took a deep breath and thought that he could almost smell the jasmine of her shampoo. _Shit! I am totally fucking fucked in the head._

Veronica waited for Lamb to say something. To do something. Something other than staring at her with that look in his eyes. That look that was so familiar. _Where have I seen that look before? It kind of reminds me of the way Logan would look at me when he,_ her eyes dropped to Lamb's lips. _When he was thinking about kissing me, or touching me, or…._

He wasn't conscious of lifting his hand to her chin. He wasn't conscious of tilting her head toward his own. He wasn't conscious of the words, _"…_ totally fucking fucked in the head" that he whispered as he leaned in and softly, ever so softly, brushed his lips against hers.


	7. That's The Plan?

**ConceivableCONCEIVABLEConceivableCONCEIVABLEConcei vableCONCEIVABLE**

Veronica would admit that when she was a little girl, she had imagined kissing Deputy Don Lamb. She'd imagined they would be dancing, her in his arms, spinning around in a chandelier filled room, music wrapping around both of them as her arms draped his neck and his hands circled her waist. She'd imagined the music swelling to a close, and then… she'd pictured him pulling her closer and curving their bodies into a dreamy, romantic dip.

When she was younger, Veronica had dreamed a lot.

Then she grew up.

She grew up and she stopped imagining Don Lamb as a knight; or a prince.

She grew up and she saw the deputy for what he was, an incapable, muscle-bound, bumpkin.

But, even when she was a young girl, filled with the most romantic of fantasies, Veronica had never, ever, thought that kissing Don Lamb would feel like this. Like… like everything right and wrong, good and bad, sweet and salty, dark and light, all rolled up into one.

Something in the back of her head told her to push his hand away from her waist. That same something told her not to open her mouth to his teasing lips and his nipping teeth.

Veronica had never cared for being told what to do. Not even when it was her own confused conscience doing the 'telling'. So she ignored the warning in the corners of her mind, and slipped her fingers up over his forearms and biceps, exploring the contours of his muscles and silk of his skin; pulling him closer versus pushing him away. She also ignored the warning bell that quietly rang in her mind telling her to pull away from his mouth. And instead she followed his lips, chased after them when he lifted his head to breathe. She followed them until her lips once again caressed his, tasting him.

_Milk Chocolate._

_Hot Caramel._

_Vanilla Lattes._

_Don Lamb._

_All of them are undeniably bad for me. So why do all of them have to taste sooo damn good._

When her lungs finally began to scream for their own sustenance, she pulled away from him. And then even the air she breathed was filled with him….

Their foreheads touched as they struggled for breath and for sanity. Both illusive as they continued to mindlessly peck and nibble at one another's skin; his lips to her cheek, her tongue to his jaw.

Don lifted his fingers to Veronica's face, tracing the same path along her face as his lips took. His lips and his fingers agreed; she was beautiful. Letting his hand grace down her neck, her wondered when, IF, this madness would end. When he would wake from the dream.

He _always_ woke from the dream, perhaps it was just before they kissed. Or perhaps, it was just before his hands touched her breasts –as they were doing now. Her perfect, perfect breasts.

But definitely, indubitably, no matter where he was in the dream, he woke up. Hard, throbbing, frustrated and sleep deprived.

He wondered, again, when he would wake up.

Sliding his fingers further down her body, he measured the width of her ribcage with his hand – she was so tiny – before he slipped his fingers inside of the waistband of her jeans. His hand thrummed with the heat generated from her belly. It thrummed loudly, and he woke up.

_This is Veronica Mars. A pregnant Veronica Mars._

"Shit!"

He pulled away from her as if scalded. "Fuck!" Scrambling to his feet and shifting away from her like a teenage boy caught playing with his dad's porn mags, Lamb took one look at Veronica's surprised countenance and backed away.

"I'm – I'm sorry. I'm really… umm, let me know if you have any problems with Casablancas." He didn't run, he wouldn't let himself 'run', but he definitely retreated expeditiously _. I knew I was going to hell, but making out with another guy's pregnant girl? A Veronica Mars flavored girl? Fuck! They may make me King of my own perverted section of hell._

Veronica dropped back against the tree in a daze. A tree that she now bore bark imprints of against her back; imprints caused by the weight of Don Lamb pressed against her as he kissed the life out of her… Right before he jumped away like she had cooties.

Brushing her fingers across the lips that still tasted of Lamb she murmured out loud. "What. The. Fuck. Was. That?"

**7b 7b 7b 7b 7b**

Mac sat on Dick's lap as he leaned against the arm of the couch. "Seriously Dick, I'm starting to feel bad for Veronica."

Lacing his fingers through Mac's, Dick held her hands up and out, quietly marveling at how tiny her fingers were. "Veronica is a tough cookie. She doesn't need anyone worrying about her."

"The tough cookies are the ones you HAVE to worry about; they crumble the easiest… it's hard for them to bend. Veronica doesn't like bending. She hates bending. Bending makes her angry."

"And crumbly?"

Mac stuck her tongue out at Dick.

"Don't stick your tongue out unless you plan to use it woman."

"I'd give you the finger, but you're holding my hands."

"How about we compromise, and you give me a kiss?"

"How the hell is that a compromise?"

"Feisty woman! It's a compromise because we both know I focus much better when I've been serviced."

Mac freed a hand and whacked Dick on the chest. "Serviced?!"

"Serviced."

"You're lucky I…," Mac bit her tongue and scootched down on Dick's frame so that she was laying along his body.

"I'm lucky you…? What?"

"You're lucky I, uh, find you so sexy and irresistible."

With a sigh, Dick curved his fingers through Mac's hair, her pretty chocolate locks. "I know I'm lucky, Mac. I know it."

**7c 7c 7c 7c 7c**

"So that's the plan?" Veronica stared at Dick and Mac.

"That's the plan."

"That's not a plan. That's a bad soap opera plot; a weak fiction ploy. Mac, I thought you were more creative than this; this won't work. Can't we just tell Lamb the truth?"

"Bad luck," Dick and Mac said simultaneously.

Veronica ground her teeth silently. "I don't WANT Dick to be my pretend boyfriend."

"Ronnie, it's only for like three weeks, and then only really around Lamb."

"Lamb's everywhere. He's like God…, or something." Veronica mumbled and banged her head against the café table.

"It's actually a little under three weeks, if that helps." Mac offered weakly.

Turning her head to the side so that it rested on her forearm, Veronica responded glumly, "Nope, not helping. Still involves me cooing in Dick's direction."

The object of her complaint piped up – loudly. "Dude! Dick's right here! And Dick's not lovin' the whole Ronnie/Dick pic either! But do you see Dick complaining…? No, Dick is biting the fucking bullet for the fucking mother of his child. Gooooo Dick!"

Propping her head back up so that she was looking at Dick and Mac's side of the table Veronica raised an eyebrow. "Why is Dick speaking in third person?"

Mac soothingly patted Dick's hand. "He gets confused sometimes." Her smirk was contagious, and within seconds, Veronica found herself giggling with her best-budette as if neither one of them had a care in the world.

Dick smiled and settled lower in the booth, at least Mac was happy and laughing… for the past few days, she really had stressed over Veronica's situation. It was nice to see her giggle and tease and laugh. Willingly adding fuel to the fire, he spoke up over their laughter "So, Dick takes it that the plan is a go?"

 _Mac wouldn't ask me to do this if she knew about **the kiss** but no one knows. Hell, I'm half convinced that it never occurred._ With an inward sigh Veronica closed her eyes and leaped into the travesty that she was certain would result from their little plot. "Yes, yes. The plan is a go. There will be Ronnie and Dick cooing. Limited Ronnie and Dick cooing; like, only in the direct hearing and seeing of Lamb. But, there will be," she gulped for effect, 'cooing…."


	8. Coupledom

**ConceivableCONCEIVABLEConceivableCONCEIVABLEConcei vableCONCEIVABLE**

Snuggling under Dick's arm, her head leaning against his chest, Veronica groaned quietly. She'd been sitting this way, in the booth at the café for the past five minutes as she, Mac, and Dick waited for Sheriff Don Lamb to grab his coffee, scones and vamoose.

Mac was sitting facing the checkout counter, while Dick and Veronica sat across from her stiffly snuggling, if such a thing could be done. The 'happy couple' was waiting for the thumbs up signal from Mac that 'Lamb had left the building'.

"How can you do this every day without puking?" Veronica muttered in her friend's direction.

"Feel that chest? See that bicep? It's really not as difficult as you're making it out to be." Mac responded with a half smile.

"A nice body does NOT a snuggle-bunny make."

Dick added his two-cents, "you can fucking say that again!"

Before Veronica could retort, Mac gave the all-clear. "Lamb just walked out."

The way Veronica and Dick jumped apart from one another should have made Mac feel better, but it didn't. The past two weeks had been a prickly kind of hell for her. It had been her and Dick, her and Veronica, Veronica and Dick… There had hardly been a moment when the three of them weren't a 'three of them'. And, as much as she loved Veronica, Mac was NOT getting as many giggles out of the situation as she'd thought she'd would.

Oh, there had been giggles in the beginning, during the first few days. Watching Dick and Veronica hold hands in the grocery store when a Lamb sighting was made. Or hearing Veronica actually say 'whatever you want, Dick honey', out loud. Yeah, it was big fun at first; BIG fun. But a few days into the process, being the third wheel with her own 'boyfriend' had become less and less fun. Not to mention, Dick and Veronica, despite their mutual 'barely tolerating one another attitude', LOOKED good together. They looked good doing the things that a boyfriend and girlfriend would do in public; holding hands, snuggling, calling each other by pet names.

Truth be told, Mac was sort of jealous of the coupledom that Dick and Veronica were being forced to portray. The coupledom that she and Dick had only ever displayed in private, or in front of Veronica. Her relationship with Dick, whatever that relationship actually was, was still on the down low. A secret to the world. And that was fine… really. Except…. _Crap_. It kind of wasn't!

She knew she was being unreasonable; she was the one who'd forced Dick and Veronica into this whole stupid fake couple thing, but damn, did they really HAVE to look so cute together?

And then, out of the blue, a horrifying thought hit Mac. Dick and Veronica might hate spending time together NOW, but, she glanced down dismally at her belly, four weeks or eight weeks from now, Mac would be a short fat cow and Veronica will still be her thin pixie self.

She groaned inwardly. Mac was already questioning what Dick found desirable about her in the first place. _I mean, yeah, I realize there has to be something enticing here for me to have gotten pregnant; his sperm didn't just jump through the air and accidently land in my vagina._ Mac smiled slightly as she pictured sperm flying, willy nilly, through the air, trying desperately to find an available vagina. And then she stopped smiling as she realized that Dick's humor was starting to rub off on her.

She frowned again. _I'll be pregnant, and big, and hormonal, and a bitch and Dick will find solace with slender, skinny, Veronica. And he'll feel forced to stay with me because of the baby._ With a frown, she made an internal vow. _Fat and hormonal! That's way too much to go through for sex! I am never,_ _ **ever**_ _, going to make my vagina available to flying sperm again._

She was brought back around to the present by Veronica's pained groan. "Okay. I'm done. That's it. 'I done taken all I can takes, and I can't takes no more.' I'm outta here." She pressed at Dick, indicating he should move out of her way.

"Magic word?"

"Taser?"

Dick moved out of the way. Quickly.

"Will we see you later?" Mac asked.

"Not if I can help it. I think I'm going to go home and shower the scent of Dick off of me – and gee, there's just NO WAY to make THAT sentence sound classy! – and then I have to go to the library. Anthropological Psychology paper coming up." She slid out of the booth, grinned evilly at Dick before smiling at Mac. "Take care of yourself mama, Mac. See you tomorrow!"

Mac returned her smile, nodding goodbye before slipping, unrelentingly, back into her inner ramblings.

As Veronica walked away, Dick plopped back down onto the red pleather booth seat with a sigh. "She thinks SHE needs a shower? Dude, I've got Ronnie Cooties!" He picked up his fork and dove into the slice of French Silk pie that sat before him. His mind, as it was wont to do, went from food to sex. "Hey Mac, do you have any silky lingerie?" He glanced up at his girl and for the first time, noticed that she was in Mackie-land, i.e. her own special thoughts. Nudging her leg from under the table with his foot, he asked, "Hey, Mac, babe, come back to earth."

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, I'm listening."

"Right. You're listening." He grinned, "What semi-naughty, suggestive question did I just ask you?"

She blushed a bright pink.

"Okay, so maybe I wasn't listening." She scrunched up her nose, "Sorry."

"S'alright. What thoughts are running through that beautiful mind of yours?"

 _Right. He finds my mind beautiful. Great, I'll just parade that around in some satin and lace._ "Dick," Mac stirred the cold veggie chili that she hadn't made much headway through during lunch. "You do know that I don't expect anything from you, right?" She lifted her eyes to his.

Blue looking at blue.

"Expect anything from me?"

"Yeah, I mean, this whole," she lowered her voice, "pregnancy thing. Neither one of us planned it. Neither one of us was looking to have a child during our last year at Hearst. I just don't want you to think that I expect you to… well… change. I mean, we haven't talked much about plans... My plans. Your plans. And, I just wanted you to know that I don't expect you to suddenly have, umm, 'our' plans. If you know what I mean?"

Dick studied Mac's adorable face. He wondered, briefly, if this was her way of saying 'so long, and sayonara''. Maybe it was her way of telling him that she thought bearing his child was a mistake, and that she didn't want to have anything further to do with him. But then why was she… why had she been so touchy with him the past few weeks. Touchy and soft, and yeah, happy. He'd thought she was happy. About the baby. About them.

"Do you… do you not want the baby?" His voice was raw.

"No! NO! That's not what I'm saying!" Mac's eyes were wide with shock. Her hands flew to her belly and her eyes welled up with tears. Blinking rapidly she hugged herself. "I, I know, I've been all, 'it's not really real until we hit the 3 month mark, but," she gazed intently at Dick. "It's real to me, Dick. This baby," her eyes fluttered down and she swallowed shallowly, "our baby is real to me." She glanced back up at him, "I wouldn't trade her or him for anything in the world."

Dick released the tightness in his jaw and took a deep breath. _Okay._ "Then dude, what the fuck is up with this shit!" He was suddenly angry. He was confused and he was horny and… he was in love. And not necessarily in that order. "What the fuck are you trying to say? You don't expect me to change?" He leaned forward. "You think it's real for you? Well," Dick ran his hand through his shaggy hair, "I admit it, it's **not** real for me. It's, it's just at the edge of my eyesight, like a shadow. But, do I WANT it? Do I want it to be real? Yes. Fuck yes! And will I change? Yeah, I will. What guy doesn't change… what REAL man… doesn't change when he has a child?" Dick reached across the table and pulled Mac's hand into his. He clarified his earlier question. "I want this baby. And I promise, I won't be anything like Dick Sr. I won't… I won't ignore our child. Or treat him as a second thought. I want to have this baby." _With you._

Mac had half of her answer then. Dick wanted to be a father. It was there in his face. In his eyes. In his words. "Okay then." She said with a watery smile, "I guess that's clear." Rubbing her thumb over the back of Dick's hand, she took a small step out onto the ledge. "I guess, our next step is to, umm, maybe make some real plans?"

Dick grinned like a puppy happily licking the hand of its owner. "Plans. Plans sound good. Just call me: The Plan Man."

**8b 8b 8b 8b 8b**

Veronica seriously considered going to her apartment and jumping in the shower to wash the Dickiness off of her (that, and it was a really warm day and the shower would cool her off), but she decided that going home first would be bad. She wasn't psyched about her psych paper (yeah, pun intended) and if she went home, she might never leave.

Pushing into the cool of the library, she let her eyes adjust for a few seconds then headed to the back of the main hall. _Okay, I need to find Hart and I need to find Wolfram._ Pulling the scribbled note she'd made last night when she'd researched the material she'd need for her paper, Veronica temporarily memorized the Dewey decimal number she would need to locate first.

Soon, she found herself as far back in the library as she could go and she was cursing her short stature as she eyed a book on the top shelf. _"Why is the world filled with giants? And why don't the giants ever think about the little people?"_ Dropping her book bag unceremoniously, she looked around for one of the stepstools scattered throughout the library. Seeing the edge of one such stool sticking out of the next aisle, Veronica moved toward it and continued her mumbled diatribe. "I suppose I should thank the giants of the world for the existence of stepstools. But really I –"  her breath caught in her throat as she turned the aisle corner. _Fuck._

**8c 8c 8c 8c 8c**

The best library in Neptune was located at Hearst College. It carried all of the same things that the public library did, AND more. The 'more' including an amazingly large true crime section. It was for that reading material that Lamb found himself at the library today. He needed to do something to relax. Something that would help him get past the sight of Veronica Mars cuddling with Dick Casablancas.

Pretty much every time he saw Veronica these days, she was with Dick. Holding his hand, sitting next to him, touching him…. It was the public displays that were bothering him. He'd wanted Veronica to spend time with the father of her baby, true, but he didn't really want to have to see it. Lamb made a mental note to look up Neptune's laws on public displays of affection. If there wasn't a law, he was going to write one up and push it through local legislation. He didn't need - no one needed - to see Veronica and Dick cozying up to one another.

He sighed as he strode into the library. Yeah, he definitely needed to do something to help himself relax. To take his mind off of the sights he'd been exposed to during the past couple of weeks. He needed to do something, anything, to stop himself from thinking about Veronica Mars.

The Veronica Mars who, just 13 days ago, he had kissed.

He repeated his newest mantra _; the-big-honking-mistake-never-gonna-do-it-again: kiss._

He was still mumbling to himself about stupidity of his lips touching Mars' when he reached the end of the aisle containing True Crime. He fingered a book on the top shelf, reading the title before pulling it off. Leaning against the shelves as he studied the book, pausing as something in his periphery moved. He glanced up and froze. _Fuck!_

**8d 8d 8d 8d 8d**

Veronica stared at Don Lamb, and it was almost as if it was her first time seeing him. Tall, and firm, good looking. And within reach.

Don Lamb, the deputy/sheriff/man who she'd known for years, but never really thought would ever be more than a dream/nightmare/figment of her imagination, was within reach. He'd kissed her. He'd kissed her and she'd kissed him and –

Don stared at Veronica, reading her normally impassive face. And he knew, somehow knew, that she was thinking about them. About their kiss. About the most amazing kiss he'd ever had in his life. Was it the taboo? The fact that she always had been and should, rightly, always BE, off limits to him? Was it the fact that she was so beautiful she could cause flowers to wilt in shame? Or maybe it was just simply the fact that she was his opposite… his nemesis… his –

They stood staring at one another for several seconds, maybe for several minutes. Staring and watching and studying the person who they suddenly realized they wanted more than they should.

They stood staring at one another until Veronica slowly pulled herself out of the trance. Glancing around the surrounding area, partially in embarrassment and partially in an attempt to gather her scattered wits, she spat out the first words that came to her mind.

"You do realize you're in a library don't you? A building filled with reading material? Non-pornographic reading material?" She paused a beat, "You'll have to go to Naughty but Nice if you want to get something more in keeping with your usual reading fare." Yeah, snark. Apparently, it came to her naturally.

Lamb was still lost in the sight of Veronica - his eyes trailing up and down her lithe frame, his eyes soaking her up - and he said the first words that came to _his_ mind. "I kinda like what I'm seeing right here." Yeah, suggestiveness. Apparently, it came to him naturally.

And just that quickly, Veronica was lost again. Lost in the trance caused by Don Lamb's suggestive/evocative words. She stopped breathing. She stopped thinking, and she took one step toward him at the same time that he unconsciously moved toward her.

And then they were in one another's personal spaces again. He could feel the heat radiating off of her tiny frame and she could feel the warmth of his breath as he bent his head down to hers, touching her lips gently; butterfly wing-soft.

 _Her mouth. God, I've never tasted anything as delicious or sweet, or, or 'everything' before._ Don skated his arms around her waist, drawing her closer; eliminating what little gap remained between the two of them.

 _I can't think. I can't think, or imagine, or dream of anything other than his lips. His lips and his touch on my skin._ She slowly slid her hands up his arms, the arms her fingers had memorized when last they'd touched. The real thing was so much better than the picture her memory had painted.

As their tongues tenderly, leisurely sparred for control/dominance/pleasure, a deep moan escaped Lamb, and Veronica closed her eyes, melting into the sensation of 'them'.

"Yo, V! Chica! Where you at?"

At the sound of Weevil's voice, Veronica and Lamb parted form one another as if touched by fire. They physically parted, but their eyes never left one another's face. They watched one another slowly shut down and close the doors that had once again 'mistakenly/accidently' burst open.

Tearing her eyes away from Lamb's, Veronica turned her back to him and with a voice that was considerably less shaky than her knees, she called out to Weevil.

"Over here Navarro! And by the way, this **is** the library: 'shhhhh'."

By the time Eli rounded the corner and entered the aisle Veronica was in, she dared to take a glance behind herself and saw that Lamb had disappeared.

 _That's definitely not disappointment that I feel_.

_Is it?_


	9. The Last Time

**Conceivable conceivable conceivable conceivable conceivable**

"All right! Seriously!" Dick gasped, "That was the best sex we've ever had!"

Mac giggled as she flipped back against the pillow. "You say that every time we have sex"

"Well, I don't know about you, but, **'I'** keep getting better."

"Hey!" Mac hit Dick on the chest before pouting and snuggling her head against his shoulder. "I'd like to think I did my part!"

"Dude, you rocked at your part. Severe, world class rockage."

Mac smirked happily.

A few seconds passed before Dick spoke up again. "So, uh, four days."

Mac was half asleep, her body satiated and warm from Dick's touch. "Hmmm? Mmmmm, four days."

"So, I was thinking, we should really start working on those, uh plans we talked about, before we share the news with the world."

Mac tensed slightly. "Okay."

 _A little enthusiasm would be great._ "I figure, we need to tell your parents first."

A groan emanated from Mac, "we can tell them last… really. That's a wholllllllllllllllle battle of epic proportions waiting to happen."

He chuckled lightly. "They might be able to handle the whole 'three month rule' but they probably won't appreciate being the last people in Neptune to find out their daughter is pregnant."

"Since when did you become the voice of reason?"

"I've always been a voice of reason babe; people just don't listen to me because of my stunning good looks and the blond hair."

She giggled and squeezed closer to him, if that was even possible. "Okay, fine, I'll tell mom and dad."

"And once they let you out of the convent," he smirked when Mac groaned, "we should probably have a 'what's next' plan' ready to present to them."

"Yes Sir, Mr. Reasonable. Great idea Mr. Reasonable."

Dick forged ahead. "I was thinking, I should, uh, move out of The Grand. A hotel isn't a great place to bring up a kid."

Mac's breath caught. "So you're going to need to find an apartment or something - two bedrooms?" She offered nonchalantly.

Dick hesitated for half a second. "I was actually, kind of thinking about buying a house… for us."

"A house?" She meant to ask 'for us' but she couldn't push the words out. _Something for the two of – the three of them to live in? Together?_

"Yeah, I was thinking either something on the beach so that Dick Jr. Jr. could start surfing right away, or maybe something with a big yard and pool. We could have a room for you to do all of your computer shit in, and we could have a dedicated TV and game room."

Mac was silent. Her body was tense along Dick's side. _A room for her? Was he really suggesting they move in together?_ Tears sprang to her eyes. She didn't want to be a burden to him. She already felt like she'd fucked up and trapped him into fatherhood; _now he felt like he had to move her in with him?_

"Mac? Babe?"

"Umm, yeah," she pushed away from his side and scrambled out of the bed without looking at him. "That sounds great Dick. A house would definitely be better than a hotel for the baby." She threw on her top, "And," she picked up her khaki Capri's, flipped them over and put in one leg and then the other, "I don't think you could go wrong either way; big back yard with pool, or ocean front property… both are good options." She finally dared to look Dick in the eyes as she bent to retrieve her neglected underwear. All she saw was confusion on his face. "I have to go Dick, I… I promised Veronica I'd meet her for a late lunch. I'll see you later."

"Mac!"

"I'll talk to you later, Dick." She scampered out of his bedroom and apartment faster than either of them thought possible.

**9b 9b 9b 9b 9b**

Veronica knew she should get out of bed, she needed to shower and get ready for her lunch with Mac, but as she burrowed deeper into her pillow, sleeping – fading into a grey oblivion – seemed like such a much more tempting option. Sleep would allow her to escape the confusion that marked her waking hours. Confusion created by the utter inability for her to get a certain Neptune Sheriff out of her head.

For the past four years or so, Don Lamb had been comfortably relegated to the role of nemesis; nemesis and idiot. But, for the past week – heck, for the past month and a half – he'd done everything humanly possible to prove to her that the labels she'd given him (idiot, nemesis) were misnomers. Everything from his insistence on her having a man - a father - for her supposed baby, to his confronting Dick and coercing him to 'man up', to the way he… the way he kissed her; It all made the idiot nemesis label seem kind of….

 _Who the fuck knew the spawn of Satan would have the lips of an angel?_ But he did. Don Lamb kissed so well that Veronica swore she could feel her panties melting off.

After their first kiss, she'd been confused. The kind of confused that you feel when you expect vanilla ice cream and get chocolate.

After their second kiss, she'd been bothered _and_ confused. The kind of bothered and confused that you feel when you notice the little boy who's tugged your braids for the past five years is cute. Really cute.

And then there was the third kiss. Yesterday.

At the sheriff's station.

Against his office wall.

On his desk.

And, oh yeah, on his chair.

Her plan had been innocent. Go talk to Lamb, without the allure of hayfever inducing trees, or the seduction of musty books; talk to him and tell him to keep his hands, and his lips, off of her.

Her theory was that if she just confronted him; got face to face – well not tooooo face to face – with him, she'd be able to put everything into perspective. She'd be able to put him back on the anti-pedestal he'd been perched on for so long. A nice, safe, anti pedestal.

So she'd pulled the most recent file she'd been working on – a cheating husband case – and headed to the station, ostensibly to ask Lamb to pull some information for her on Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

 _Ostensibly to ask for information_ …, realistically to prove to him – to herself – that what had happened between them the last two times they met, were pure bizzaroland, accidental, never-happen-again incidents.

" _Sheriff in Inga?"_

" _Oh, yah he is; just went in."_

" _Thanks!"_

_Not knocking, I turned the doorknob and entered his office._

" _Just put it on the desk Sacks." Lamb spoke from behind his desk. It wasn't until the continued silence caught his attention that Lamb looked up questioningly. 'Definitely not Sacks.'_

" _Last time I looked Lamb, Sacks was a lot taller and a lot hairier than me."_

_He didn't respond to her glib comment, he just stared at her – deer/headlight… you get the idea._

_Veronica fought the flush that threatened to climb up her chest, neck and face. A memory of his touch and his scent flashed through her mind. 'Down girl. Those sorts of thoughts will NOT help you get what you want.'_

" _Mars?" He dropped the file he'd been trying to focus on, onto the desk._

' _Fuck! This was not a good idea. Not a good idea at all.' Taking a deep breath she quirked her brow. "You're improving Lamb; yes it's me, Veronica Mars,_ _not_ _Deputy Sacks."_

_Lamb let his eyes trail from the top of Veronica's head down to the tip of her toes, and back up again. The journey was slow, leisurely, and deliberate. With a smirk he responded, "My mistake Mars; you're definitely not Sacks. He'd never look that good in a skirt."_

_Even as he scanned Veronica's figure and responded to her snarky response, Lamb was mentally whacking himself over the head. 'Idiot! Fucking idiot! What the hell are you doing? Mars is a perpetual rival, a pain in the ass, and a smart-mouthed bitch. Yet she walks in your door and all you can do is imagine her buck-naked. Buck-naked and writhing in your arms.'_

_The mental whacks didn't help. They were no match for nude Veronica imaginings. Nor were they any competition for the memories he had of her small frame pressed against his. Or her pliant lips smoothing against his._

_He'd found himself replaying those memories, like a broken record, over and over and over again throughout the past couple of weeks. And their run-in at the library the other day hadn't helped the situation. It was just fuel added to an already brightly burning fire._

_Somewhere in the back of his mind, he'd thought, for just a second after the library incident, that maybe he would finally be free. That the torture he'd felt after the first kiss would finally stop; stop because he'd kissed her again… he'd fed the need._

_He'd been wrong._

_If their first kiss had made him a mere inhabitant of hell, the second Mars-laced kiss had crowned him as prince of his own special corner of hell. And now, looking at her as she stood across from his desk, he felt a bit like Tantalus, just within reach of the elixir that would sooth his thirst, yet knowing that that desire would never really be quenched._

_The knowledge that your thirst would never truly be sated had never stopped any fallen deity or angel from trying to reach salvation… nectar… elixir. And Lamb was no god… no angel… He was mere man – and a broken man at that. What chance did he stand at reaching salvation…?_

_Veronica could almost see wheels turning in Lamb's head. She could see them spinning and she could see which direction they were turning toward. "So I came here to see if you could get me some information on a case I'm working on." She nervously reached for her carrier bag and the file she'd brought with her. Fumbling with the zipper and the file, she finally pulled them out and brought her focus back to Lamb._

_Who was now standing directly in front of her._

_Her eyes moved up from his chest, to his neck, to the dimple in his chin, to his perfect lips, to his beautiful blue eyes._

" _I'll give you anything you need Mars." His voice was low and rumbley and it surrounded her completely._

' _Yeah, this rates as one of my least intelligent ideas… ever.' She gathered at the frayed shreds of her mind, and continued her poor attempt to prove to Lamb – and herself – that she wasn't affected by him. "I have a housewife from the 09er area, who hired me to follow her husband, and before I turn over the findings, I wanted to follow up on a red flag. I was wondering if you could log into your super duper computer over there and tell me if JC and Amber Smith ring any electronic bells?"_

" _Is that really why you came here?"_

_Calm cool Veronica Mars was anything but calm or cool at the moment. And it was all because Don Lamb was too close for her to breathe. Too close for her to think. Too close for comfort. She tilted her head to the side as the thought moved through her muddled mind, 'Or, is he NOT close enough for comfort?'_

' _Her head is bent at just the right angle,' Lamb thought at the same time that he pulled the file out of her hand and dropped it onto the floor._

_Curling one hand at the back of her neck, his fingers lost in her blonde locks, Lamb slowly lowered his head to Veronica's. He was half convinced he was dreaming. That her almond and vanilla scent was just another form of torment._

_He was half convinced he was dreaming, until he touched his lips to hers again. And then he knew he wasn't in hell, he was in heaven._

_And there it was again. That overwhelming all-encompassing intense feeling of being completely and totally in the moment... and lost at the same time._

_Veronica slid her hands up his arms, over his shoulders and around his neck. Her small fingers teasing the clean cut hairs at the back of his neck._

_With little to no coaxing, Lamb urged Veronica to lift her legs to his hips so that he was bearing her full weight on his frame. Her softness pressed against his muscular firm body. He took one, two steps forward until her back was pressed against the blind covered wall. With his right hand he used the last strand of sanity he had, and locked the door to his office._

_Sensation was everywhere. His fingertips tingled as he touched her skin, his thumbs caressing her cheeks. And her breath, it came in hot, little puffs, smoothing across his eyelids and his forehead as he moved his lips down to her neck. Those pants were followed by tiny, delicious little mewls of pleasure. Sounds he'd never heard from Veronica before, but sounds he didn't think he could exist without hearing again, and again._

_As he lathed at the hollow of her neck, she gasped and arched against him._

_A faint glimmer of reality broke through her consciousness and Veronica mumbled, half heartedly, "we shouldn't … ohhhhhh, oh, okay, ummmm, we shouldn't be doing this."_

_Spinning her away from the wall, and taking the few stumbling steps necessary to deposit her on the desk, Lamb responded through a daze. "Why the hell not?"_

_Lust flitted around Veronica like hummingbirds around a flower. Her reason and sanity clouded by something much stronger, she echoed his words; an encouragement versus an admonition. "Why the hell not?"_

_As she whispered these words, she slid a hand from his neck, down his chest and torso and let it rest on the bulge at the front of his pants._

_He gave a small grunt of pleasure before teasing her, "Playing with toys much too big for you little girl."_

" _You'd be amazed at the kind of things I can handle." Her voice was breathless from his touches and his kisses._

_Moving one hand to her hip, he let his other hand cup her small, perfect breast. With a voice much weaker than he'd intended it to be, he threw down the gauntlet. "Show me what you can handle Mars."_

_Should words_ _that_ _demanding, or_ _that_ _teasing sound so sexy? Something in the back of her mind responded 'no'. But she wasn't listening to her mind today. Not now. Now, her body was in control of all of her actions. And her body found Lamb's words sexy and delectable… much like the man himself. Moving her fingers to the buckle of his belt, she slowly undid the leather strip._

_Undoing the button at the top of his pants, she ran her hand over his still clothed length…. "Chair. Now."_

" _Always so bos… Jesus, Mars!" he swallowed hard as she licked around his Adams apple. Putting all of his focus on moving them the few feet needed to get to the other side of the desk, he happily lowered himself onto the chair where, just minutes before, he'd been faking doing hard work, when in reality he was fantasizing about doing just this… kissing Veronica Mars._

_Her hand buried between their two bodies, Veronica tucked her fingers under the waistband of Lamb's pants and curved her hand around an impressively hard shaft._

_Simultaneously, Lamb let one of his hands creep under the hem of Veronica's shirt. He wasn't surprised that her skin felt like silk. It was what he expected. It was what his dreams had told him she'd feel like. He_ _**was,** _ _however_ _**,** _ _surprised by her warmth. By the sweet, warm fragrance of her skin. By the way she arched her body in towards his touch. Wanting. Reciprocating._

_His fingers had just reached the edge of her bra – lace… he groaned quietly, when –_

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

" _Sheriff?!" Sacks' voice filtered through the wood edifice that suddenly seemed utterly too thin to keep the prying eyes of Neptune from the fantasyland that Veronica and Lamb had created around themselves._

_Lamb's whole body tightened as he was catapulted back to reality; and as soon as she felt his body tense up, Veronica found herself realizing where she was. Where she literally was. Which was, in case anyone had forgotten, sitting on Don Lamb's lap with her hand down his pants, and his hand up her shirt._

_Their eyes locked for a second._

' _Such pretty blue.'_

' _A blue I could get lost in.'_

_And then Veronica clambered off of Lamb's lap as if he was covered with insects._

" _This never happened. Never. Not at the park. Not at the library and most definitely, not here." She hissed darkly as she pulled at the edges of her shirt and tucked her hair back behind her ears. As she bent over to pick up the file Lamb had taken from her, Lamb responded._

" _Do I need to remind you who came to whose office, Mars?" He tucked his shirt into his pants and rolled his chair under his desk, effectively hiding his hard-on from Veronica's (he imagined) mocking eyes, and Sacks' prying eyes._

" _Sher-" Sacks stopped speaking as Veronica opened the office door and swept past the deputy. "Oh, hi Veronica, how…" He shook his head as Veronica escaped out the inner door of the station. 'Veronica Mars and Sheriff Lamb, they should never be put within 10 feet of one another…. All they do is piss one another off.' Turning back to Lamb he missed the look of frustrated sadness that marred the sheriff's face. "Sheriff, I brought you those papers you wanted."_

Veronica groaned. "Yeah, my plan was innocent. But apparently my libido is controlled by the devil." Pulling her way out of her bed so that she could get ready for her lunch with Mac, Veronica vowed to herself that yesterday realllly was the last time she'd kiss Don Lamb.


	10. OH MY GOD!

**Conceivable conceivable conceivable conceivable conceivable**

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I overslept, I was having this dream about...., erh, umm, well it doesn't matter; I made it—." Veronica pulled to a halt as she saw Mac sitting at their favorite booth with her head cradled in her hands. "And never mind about me, what's up with you buttercup?"

"Dick wants to buy a house!" Mac mumbled from behind her hands.

"And you're worried that he doesn't have the brain cells required to handle the transaction?" Veronica asked; confusion and sarcasm equally lacing her voice. She slid into her side of the booth, dropping her carryall onto the seat next to her.

"Veronica…." Mac admonished quietly.

"Sorry, still working on the 'Dick is good' idea…. And seriously, I am **so** going to call him Richard, or Rick from now on."

Mac laughed quietly before slipping back into a heavy silence.

"So, Dick wants to buy a house?" At Mac's quiet nod, Veronica pondered the information a few seconds before giving in and expressing her bewilderment. "Umm, sorry Mac, I'm not seeing the problem with that."

"He wants to buy a house with a pool, and a game room, and, and… a room for my 'computer shit'."

Veronica slowly made the connection. "So, Dick asked you to move in with him!?"

"Not in so many words, but, yeah, the offer was there."

"Mac! That's great! Way to go Dickie!"

Mac lifted her head from her hands for the first time since Veronica had arrived, and her red rimmed eyes made Veronica question her thoughts on the situation.

"It's NOT great?"

"Guilt is not great."

"Guilt?"

Mac blinked back the tears that edged her eyes. "He… he only wants to move in with me because we're, I'm, pregnant. I mean, it's… it's like I'm forcing him to buy a house, and make room for me, and, and…. I don't want to weigh him down – make him feel responsible for me too; I mean, the baby, our baby, is going to be a big enough change to his lifestyle without adding me to the mix."

A look of amazement on her face, Veronica looked at the smartest person she knew in Neptune.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

Mac's eyes flickered rapidly. "Huh?"

"You've got to be kidding me Mac! I mean, as much as it pains me to say it, Dick is crazy about you! Head over heels, cut off a limb, pussy whipped, crazy!" Veronica gulped, "He loves you."

"It's not love, it… it's guilt, it's responsibility, it's –"

"It's love! I mean, Mac, Dick is not the guilt feeling type!"

"Yes he is. He feels guilty about my being all pregnant, and, and he wants to apologize, and, and… buying a house and moving the pregnant girlfriend in, is a big step toward assuaging guilt."

"Dick's dumbness is rubbing off on you."

"Veronica!"

"I'm not apologizing this time; it's the only thing that makes sense. You're smart, yet, faced with clear signs that Dick is unbelievably, undeniably crazy about you, and you can't see it!" Veronica leaned over the table, "Let's break this down, shall we? Dick and you were fucking."

Mac eeeped quietly.

"Normally not that big of a deal, because, well Dick is known for… his dick. _But,_ in your case? Big deal, because he didn't hit it and quit it… he hit it," Veronica shrugged uncomfortably, "and held it. That suggests you're 'special' to him. Secondly," she ticked off another finger. "He finds out you're pregnant. Normal Dick reaction would be: hands raised, slowly backing away from the scene of the crime. _Instead_ , he starts doing proverbial cartwheels. Cooing and goo goo ga ga'ing over your baby belly. Why? Because he loves you, and he's flipping excited that his girl is pregnant."

"But –"

"No buts. We're butless here. Dick next," Veronica ticked a third finger, "agrees to your stupid-ass rule about not telling anyone about the pregnancy, which involves him getting physically threatened by Lamb, AND his having to… OUR having to, pretend that we're a couple. Do you realize what a pain in the ass that is for me… and Dick?" Veronica shuddered lightly. "But we both agreed to do it because we both love you! Finally," a fourth finger was brought into action, "Dick tells you he wants to set up a happy home with you and YOU think that he's doing it out of a sign of guilt. When has Dick EVER done anything out of guilt? AND really, if he felt guilty about the pregnancy, why would he buy a house for the two of you, he could just buy YOU a house."

"He feels responsible for—"

Veronica snorted, and not very delicately. "Dude!" And then she shook her head in disbelief that she'd just used a Dick catch phrase… she'd been spending WAY too much time with him recently. "I mean, Mac! Dick IS responsible for your situation. You BOTH are. When you have sex with someone, both of you take the chances inherent in that action. And you both take responsibility for the end results."

"I don't want Dick to spend time with me out of a sense of –"

"OH MY GOD! Does he suck the brain cells out of your head when he kisses you? Have you not heard a word I've said about Dick being in love with you, and that love being proven in every move he makes? I mean you two have a relationship. You had a relationship before you started having sex, and before you started making baby MaDi's! It's not like you two just jumped one another's bones for no apparent reason like Lamb and…"

_Okay, that's more information that I wanted to share._

"What I'm trying to say is, Dick –"

"Wait, wait," Mac sat up straight. "Dick and I didn't just jump one another's bones like Lamb and 'who'?"

 _Crap._ "Huh?"

"Lamb and who? Who's been jumping Lamb bones?"

Veronica sunk, just a bit, in her seat, "Uh, no one?" She offered unconvincingly.

Mac observed Veronica; the fact that she couldn't look Mac in the eye was making Mac's 'suspicion nerves' tingle. Big time.

"Veronica?"

"So, as I was saying –"

"No. No, no, no; oh we are so _not_ leaving this topic. Have you… are you… and Lamb?"

Veronica gave up and dropped her head onto the table with a resounding 'thunk'.

"OH MY GOD! You and Sheriff Don Lamb are sleeping together?!"

Veronica's head shot up and she glanced anxiously around the café. "Could you use a megaphone next time… just so we can be certain _everyone_ hears you?" She leaned forward and hissed quietly, "and NO, we're not sleeping together. There's been no sleeping." At Mac's raised brow Veronica clarified, "there's been no _sex_. Just… we've, I mean, I, he… we…," she dropped her head back down to the table. "What the fuck am I doing? I'm making out with Don Lamb like he's this great irresistible object." She paused for a second. "He's like a drug. And I'm the addict." She lifted her chin and stared at Mac, "Help me Obi Wan Mac, I've got a Lamb monkey on my back." She lowered her head back to the table with a mirthless laugh.

"You and Lamb are a couple?"

"God! No!" And Veronica was ramrod straight again. "He, we…" she took a breath, "apparently, when we're in the same vicinity I kind of find it difficult to keep my lips and my hands off of him." She looked at Mac, "There is no coupling, erh, of the emotional sort, going on."

Mac settled back against her chair with a knowing smile. "How long has this been going on?"

"For a month. For a week. I don't know. One minute I'm happily hating him and the next, I've got my tongue down his throat."

Mac's smile deepened, "So you're not hating him now?"

"No. I still hate him. I think. I mean, he's Lamb, right? The North and The South, Caesar and Cleopatra, Lamb and Mars – perpetual enemies. It's the way of the world. Or, at least, of Neptune."

Mac was quiet.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I just think it's kind of funny that you're calling me dumb, when, apparently, you're the queen of dumb."

Veronica shrugged her shoulders and shook her head in mystification.

"You and Lamb, apparently, like one another."

"Cynthia Mackenzie, you take that back this instant!"

Mac laughed before proceeding to use Veronica's own tactics against her. Flicking out one finger she started enumerating her proof, "Lamb has been hounding you for, like, the past two months. Sniffing around you like, pardon the analogy, a wolf looking for his mate."

"Ha!" Veronica interrupted with a bark, "Lamb a wolf! Funny…."

"My analogies are humorous AND appropriate. As I was saying, why was Lamb hounding you?"

"To be a pain in my ass?"

"Nope."

"Insanity?"

Nope."

"Evil alien plot to irritate sane, happy, blonde Mars women?"

Mac raised a brow.

"Okay, what? Why? Why was Lamb being an insane, irritating, pain in my ass?"

"Cuz he likes you."

"Shut the fuck up!"

"It's true. It's the only thing that makes sense."

"I'm still laying bets on the evil alien plot." Veronica mumbled.

"He follows you around ONLY after he finds out you're 'pregnant'" Mac air quoted pregnant. "He's obsessed with finding out who the daddy of the baby is. Ostensibly because he wants to make certain that you have someone to turn to… to support you. Why does he care if you have someone to support you? You're his enemy."

"His pregnant enemy."

"You and I both know that pregnant women, while very important, are NOT all that rare in this world. And they don't fall under the auspices of Local government concern. Why did Lamb take such an interest in finding your baby's 'dad'? It's because he wanted you to be taken care of. He wanted to make certain the woman he cared for was okay. Don Lamb cares about you."

"About driving me crazy."

"Why did he nearly rip Dick's head off when he found out Dick was the baby's daddy? And, side note, our fricking lives are like scenes from a soap opera."

Veronica and Mac smiled at one another.

" _Richard_ makes most people want to rip his head off."

"You'll never stop picking on him will you?

Veronica shook her head apologetically. "I don't know if I can, it's kinda like a sickness. Once you have it, there's no getting rid of it."

"Well, at least I'll have the pleasure of picking on your man too."

"My man? Lamb is **not** my man!"

"He nearly decapitated Dick because he wanted to make certain Dick did the right thing by you. Understandable if you are the father of a pregnant teen… you want the guy to stand up and take responsibility. Also, perhaps understandable, if you have a dark, hidden desire for a woman and you find out she's pregnant by another man; you also want the responsible man to stand up and take accountability. Both are examples of L.O.V.E. Veronica."

Veronica snorted again.

"So, let's look at those smooches; those make out sessions you were referring to."

"Another sickness."

"How many times have you had your hands and lips all over Neptune's sheriff?"

"Three times." Veronica whispered.

"A little louder."

"Three times, okay? There've been three unexplainable, stupid 'getting to _'know'_ you' sessions.

"And you've never thought that the reason you're all over each other is because you like one another?" Mac shook her head in disbelief. "Clearly, you have feelings for Lamb. You're not the type to become involved with someone you're not attracted to." Mac held up her hand to stop Veronica from interrupting. "You know, your dad told me that you use to have the biggest crush on Lamb."

_My dad knew I had a thing for Lamb? Oh, now THAT'S embarrassing._

"I was young and dumb."

"And now you're older and wiser. And maybe it's not a crush anymore. Maybe it's real attraction."

"But..., but..., I don't want to be attracted to Lamb." Veronica pouted.

"Yeah and I don't want to be in love with a tall, blond, surfing, sex god. But I am. I refer you to the aforementioned 'our whole life is a soap opera' comment."

Veronica groaned. "I need chocolate."

"God, yes," Mac scooched out of the booth, "two Caramel Chocolate Fudge cakes," she patted hers stomach, "and ice cold milk, coming up!"

**10b 10b 10b 10b 10b**

Don circled the jewelry store twice in his squad car, trying to convince himself not to do what he knew he was going to do, namely, not to pull over and go into the store to see why Dick Casablancas' car was parked outside of it.

The battle was lost before it was fought.

 _Tinkle tinkle tinkle._ The quaint little bell rang as Lamb pushed through the door.

Taking the few steps necessary to reach Dick's side, Lamb hooked his thumbs through his belt loops. "Buying or stealing, Casablancas?"

Dick bent his head back with a groan. "Millionaire many times over Sheriff, I don't need to steal."

"Money has never stopped an 09er from taking what he wanted. Legal or not." Not giving Dick time to answer, Lamb continued. "So, what're you buying?"

"Dude, am I breaking the law here? Cuz, if I'm not, what the fuck business is it of yours?"

"I'm making it my business, wha-"

"Here you go Mr. Casablancas, we sized it as specified, and engraved it according to your wishes, I hope it meets your – excuse me!"

Lamb reached across the counter and snatched the open black velvet box from the salesman's hand. The box contained a ring.

He'd known it would.

And it was a beautiful ring. A diamond of 2 – 2.5 carats, settled in a gleaming gold band. He didn't want to read the inscription, but he found himself doing a lot of things he didn't want to these days.

A vision of Veronica's soft lips passed through his mind as he picked up the ring and turned the inside toward him.

**Mac, ty 4 letting me luv u.**

_Mac_?

Lamb stepped in toward Dick, his eyes dark and hard. "Mac? Are you cheating on Veronica?"

Dick quickly weighed the consequences. Four days away from the Mac imposed 'no tell' deadline, vs very pissed Sheriff threatening to do more than incarcerate him due to a misunderstanding.

Dick opted in favor of saving his balls.

"Dude, sheriff, I think you are _so_ going to get a kick out of this." He heard Lamb growl and rushed ahead, "See, you know how you heard Mac and me talking about my being the baby's daddy. Yeah, well see, dude, it really is hilarious, I AM the baby's dad, it's just that you have the wrong mom." Dick grinned hopefully.

Lamb stared cluelessly at Dick.

"Dude, Mac's pregnant. Not Veronica." The reaction Dick got was not exactly the one he had been expecting.

Lamb fell backwards a few steps, almost as if he'd been punched in the gut, but he gathered himself quickly. "Are you fucking kidding me?" He was back in Dick's face.

"No, Dude, I fuck you not! Mac…, Mac's a little sensitive about sharing the information this early in the pregnancy. And you, you were around, like fucking constantly, trying to find out about shit, and well, you overheard me talking to Mac and… Veronica was a quick and easy out."

Lamb backed away slowly. _Veronica NOT pregnant? Dick and Veronica_ _ **not**_ _Dick and Veronica?_ He breathed in and out heavily. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!_

He knew he hadn't been doing a good job of staying away from Veronica, but what little control he'd had, had existed because he was able to remind himself that she was pregnant. Now he knew she wasn't, and he wondered, _how the hell am I going to keep my hands off of her now?_


	11. What Happens After Revalations?

**MadiDoveMadiDoveMadiDove**

"Dude, are you okay?" Dick wandered over to the squad car still parked outside of Neptune's Pearl Jewelers.

It wasn't that Dick really cared, but, well, Lamb hadn't looked good when he left the shop ten minutes earlier. He hadn't looked good at all. As a matter of fact, he looked a lot like Dick did before he faced a wave on new water. The kind of frightened, self-conscious, look that was framed by the knowledge that you were going to jump into the water anyway. Do or die time.

"I'm fine Casablancas. I'm fine." Lamb's response was terse, in part because he was embarrassed at being caught moping in his car, and in part, because he was lying. He wasn't fine. He was anything but.

"Cool. Just thought I'd ask, man." Dick turned around and headed toward his own car. He got all of 2 feet away before Lamb interrupted his _stealthy_ escape.

"You know, I saw you and Veronica together… several times, in the past few weeks." His voice was strained even to his own hearing, and he cleared his throat. "You guys had your hands all over each other. You definitely looked coupley and… shit. It… it looked real."

Dick turned around, "Yeah, the hugging stuff, that was all part of Mac's plan." He shuddered. "I'm still having fucking nightmares."

At the look of confused disbelief that flitted across Lamb's face, Dick clarified… unnecessarily. "You know, cuz of the having to touch Mars and shit."

"Yeah, right." Lamb picked his keys up off of the car seat and cracked his neck. "Well I need to go do… something." _Like bang my head against the office wall for a while. Or Find a tequila bottle with my name on it. Or –_

"Holy fucking shit Batman! You have the hots for Mars!" Dick barked before Lamb could put his keys in the ignition.

"What?! What?!" Lamb looked around the empty parking lot anxiously. He then looked at Dick squarely. "No. NO! I don't have the hots – I mean – why would you even think…?"

"Ho. Lee. Shiiiiiitttt! Fuck me!" Dick started to chuckle and within a few seconds he was doubled over with laughter as all of the pieces of the puzzle came together in his head.

Moving quicker than most people thought him capable of, Lamb climbed out of his car and stalked toward Dick. Glancing around the still empty lot, he growled. "Casablancas, now would be a really good time for you to be quiet."

Hands against his thighs, Dick hiccupped his laughter to a slow chuckle. "I'm sorry, but Dude! That so explains everything…. And it's fucking funny!" Dick started to laugh again, only stopping when Lamb took another menacing step toward him.

"Look, Casablancas..., Dick, I don't know what you _think_ you know, but -."

"I do have to say, I pity you man. Mars is a fucking handful. I can barely – hell, I CAN'T – handle Mac, and she's sane. Your girl… shit."

"Again, Casablancas, I don't know what you're talkin –"

"Oh c'mon!" Dick stared at Lamb. "Dude, they say the first step of recovery is admitting you have a problem. And you, dude, you have a problem."

"Casablancas –"

"You know, Ronnie bitched about how you just kept showing up EVERYWHERE and hounding her about who the father of the baby was, and we couldn't figure out why. Why you were being so diligent about an unwed mother and shit like that. And then, when you overheard me and Mackie talkin', and my babe thought quick on her feet and claimed I was the dad to V's supposed spawn; dude, you nearly bit my head off trying to make certain I planned on 'doing the right thing'." Dick paused for a breath.

"That doesn't prove anything Casablancas, I –"

"And then you STILL wouldn't stop following Mars around after you found out I was her kid's dad."

Dick shook his head in sudden, utter understanding. "Dude, I use to follow Mac around like that. Until she finally agreed to date me. And then I got a little lovin' and it was all good. The lovin' makes it all better."

Lamb blanched. "We don't know one another well enough for me to know that information Casablancas."

"Dude, I'm just sayin', when the girl gives you the go ahead, and you get a little somethin' somethin', everything starts to look a little brighter." Dick bit back a laugh at his next thought, "Dude, if you ever get any," he thrust his hips forward a couple of times, "lovin' from Mars, you'll be whipped, but happily so. I've seen it happen."

"Uh, yeah." Lamb broke Dick's gaze.

Dick was silent for second before he crowed – loudly. "Son of a bitch! You've got to be fucking kidding me! Dude! Are you," he did the hip thrusting thing again, "getting it on with Ronnie?"

"If you do that one more time, I swear to god I'm going to bring you in for lewd and lascivious behavior."

Dick held his hands up placatingly. "Whoa. Whoa. Back off Lone Ranger…" Dick kept quiet for two seconds this time before he gave in to his curiosity. "So how far did V let you go?"

Lamb shot back defensively, "You and Cindy MacKenzie? Really? I always thought she was smarter than that."

Dick chuckled, "Yeah, she _is_ smarter than that, but, lucky for me, she seems to have a blind spot when it comes to me." Dick shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground as he shuffled his feet. "So you and V huh?"

Lamb sighed and rubbed his hand along the back of his neck. "Neptune is one fucked up place, isn't it?"

"You can say that again."

**MadiDoveMadiDoveMadiDove**

"Mackie? Macstar!? Baby?!" Dick burst through the door of the apartment and was greeted by the sight of candles EVERYWHERE, and the scent of something tomato-y and cheesey coming out of the kitchen. He leaned backwards, and opened the door, verifying he'd entered the right apartment. Yup. He was home.

"Mac?"

"Hey Stud."

He turned to the left and saw his girl smiling, nervously, as she leaned against the wall. She was wearing a cute little white frilly apron, over something blue and slinky that looked like a nightie and robe combo of some sort; neither of which he'd ever seen before.

"Heeeeeyyyyy." He couldn't hide the stupid smirk that had taken residence over his face. Mac was looking all cute and sexy – a combination that was hard for most people to balance – but not for his girl. She was amazing. "You look great." He took a couple of steps toward her, "and the place looks and smells delicious."

"The _place_ looks delicious?" She raised a brow teasingly.

"Yeah, and don't' forget the part where I mentioned you look great."

She giggled despite her nervousness.

"So," Dick came to a stop right in front of Mac and lifted his hand to the streak of platinum in her hair. "What's with all of the deliciousness?"

 _Will I ever be able to think straight when I'm near him? Or will I always feel this … dizzy and light… and happy?_ She closed the last foot between them and wrapped her arms around Dick's waist, laying her head against his chest. "It's an apology."

His voice rumbled as he spoke, "An apology? For what?" He wrapped his arms around Mac and pulled her closer, "Oh… wait, cuz you wouldn't let me do that thing in the bedroom the other night?" He pulled back slightly and grinned. "Does that mean you've changed your mind?"

Mac whacked Dick on the chest lightly, "Um, ewwwww no. Helllllla no. Not happening. Ever." Mac tucked her head back into Dick's chest. "Probably."

He chuckled and held her close again.

"So, you mentioned something about an apology?"

She mumbled against his body. "Yes."

"For?"

"Being a bad girlfriend."

"Oooooh! 'The bad girlfriend', I like it when we play that!" Dick felt Mac's shoulders start to shake with laughter and he rubbed his hands down her back. When her laughter didn't subside, he backed away from her, lifted her head, and realized she wasn't laughing, she was crying.

"Mac, baby… honey, I was just kidding; we don't have to play any games. I was just messing with you. Baby," He brushed a tear off of her cheek. "Baby, don't cry. I can handle anything except for your tears."

Mac sniffle-laughed, "Yeah well, unfortunately, for you, I am a hormone factory and can't seem to do anything except for cry and overanalyze, and, and, cry, and…" A fresh torrent of tears burst out of Mac, ripping into Dick's like a dagger.

"Baby, you're killing me here. What's wrong? I'm rich, I can fix almost anything."

The sniffle-laugh greeted him again.

"Can you fix me?"

"Fix…," He grabbed Mac's shoulders and tilted her away from him. "Is something wrong with you, or… the baby?"

"Wha-? No. No! Dick, we're fine. The baby's fine. I'm fine, except for the fact that I'm stupid."

He lifted his hand to the side of her face and looked her in the eyes. "Baby, you're the smartest person I've ever met in my life."

She toyed with one of the buttons on Dick's shirt. "You musn't know a lot of people."

"I'll have you know that I know, like, a ton of people. I'm a very popular guy."

Mac snorted delicately, then, her voice dropping to volume so quiet that Dick almost didn't hear what she said, she whispered, "If I'm so smart, why did it take me so long to realize you love me?"

"Well maybe because you …" Dick froze. "Dude! Did you fucking say what I think you just said?"

Still not looking him the eye, and still playing with that obviously exciting button, Mac pouted just a bit. "Kinda depends on what you thought you heard…, I guess."

Dick took a deep breath. He'd never actually said the words to Mac. Never told her he loved her, in so many words. But it hadn't been because he didn't want to. Fuck, for the past nine months, it had been eating him alive from the inside out; the words clawing at his gut in an angry attempt to escape. The only thing that had stopped from actually SAYING the words was: Mac. And Mac's reaction.

And then there was the fact that at first he hadn't been positive if she cared, even a little bit about him. When he finally got comfortable with the idea that Mac might actually 'like him back' he'd been stupid with excitement. He'd wanted to shout his love to the world. Problem was, the most important person in the equation, Mac, wouldn't believe him if he told her he cared. She wouldn't believe him because she couldn't trust him. Well, she could; she just didn't know that. She didn't think she could trust him. Not after Cassidy. Cassidy proved to her that men, Casablancas men in particular, couldn't be trusted.

Dick would take a knife to his own balls before he'd hurt Mac, but _saying_ that wasn't the same thing as proving it. There really were no words - not even those tree little/big words - that could convince his girl that she meant more to him than anything in the world. No words.

So that left actions. And short of actually separating his balls from his body, Dick had done all he could think of during their relationship to show Mac just how much she meant to him. Gifts (until she set up the damn gift rules), dinners out, he even gotten a handle on his drinking. All as ways of showing Mac that she was the one. The one for him.

And now she got it. She'd heard his wordless declaration. Or, at least he thought she had. "Before I go all Scooby-doo – Scooby Snack happy here, did you just say that you know that I love you?"

Mac gulped and took her big girl pill. Lifting her eyes she looked Dick in the eye and squeaked out a small/big, "Yes.?..?"

A smirk turned into a grin, and then into a smile, and then Dick reached for Mac, scooping her up in his arms and swinging her around in a dizzying circle. "Woooooo! Wooooooooooo!"

"Dick!" Mac screamed then giggled as he swung them both around in loopy, happy, random circles; dancing them around the room with abandon. "Dick," Mac grinned against his neck, "okay, pregnant woman here. Getting dizzy and dizzy isn't good!"

"Sorry babe!" He lowered Mac to the ground but kept a firm grip on her, "I just…, it's just that… Dude, I love you." He said the words with a smile that touched his eyes… his ears… heck, Mac would lay bets that it touched the back of his head.

Biting the inside of her cheek in an attempt to keep herself from laughing at Dick's irresistible happiness, she responded, "Now that we've established _that_ fact, I guess we just need to find a way for me to tell you that I love you, and then we'll be all set."

If she'd thought that his smile was big before, she'd thought wrong.

"Tell you what babe," he tugged her hips closer to his, "why don't we work our way up to you 'telling me you love me'. You can, uh, just start off by showing me." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. He leaned down and whispered in her ears, "You know they say actions speak louder than words."

Mac shivered ever so slightly, "Veggie lasagna, a little wine for you, a little apple juice for me, then… I'll see if I can find a way to start showing you my love."

Dick countered with a leer, "how about we practice the love showing, _then_ do the wine/juice, and finish up with the lasagna?"

Mac patted her stomach and raised an eye.

Dick released a good natured sigh, and gave in. "Okay, okay, eating for two… baby on board… I got it. Food, drink… then, we will be merry!"

"Good plan Dickie."

He groaned at the nickname and followed her into the kitchen. "So, babe, uh, not that I'm not happy, but, uh, what brought about this sudden realization of what a good catch I am."

Mac chuckled as she bent over and checked the contents of the oven. "Yes, Sweetie, you're the biggest and bestest catfish in the Neptune pond." She turned around with a smile, "Actually, you owe Veronica for my, um, revelation."

"Ronnie!?" Dick spurted out some of the bottled water he'd just taken a sip of. "Dude, she hates me! She wouldn't point you in my direction unless you had a gun in your hand."

"She doesn't hate you Dick," Mac grabbed a pot holder and turned off the oven. "She's just… protective of her small enclave of friends. Those who dare to enter said enclave, need to pass rigorous testing and well…honey, you were kinda mean to her in high school."

Dick frowned. "I was young and immature then."

"Four years ago?"

"Four years can make all the difference in the world." Dick chugged back more water as Mac set the lasagna pan on the stove. Then suddenly he remembered the news. The big news. "Oh My Fucking God! Dude! You so will NOT believe the fucking intelligence I have about Ronnie!"

Mac jumped slightly then turned to face Dick with a smirk. "When did you become a member of the Gossip Girls?"

"Dude, when the gossip got this good! You will not believe who Veronica has been bumping uglies with!"

Mac stood on tip toe and pulled plates and glasses out of the shelf to her left. "Sheriff Lamb?"

The room was so silent Mac had to turn around to make certain Dick was still there.

"Dude, it's so NOT cool when you burst my bubble like that."

Mac giggled and contritely headed over to Dick. "I'm sorry Dickie." She gave him a quick peck on the lips, "Tell you what, while the lasagna is settling, you get the wine, I'll get the juice, and we'll go in the living room and compare our sheriff/amature detective gossip."

Dick's eyes lit up, although he shrugged casually. "Sure babe, if that would make _you_ happy."

**MadiDoveMadiDoveMadiDove**

Life equals change. A fact Veronica thought she'd reconciled herself with during the past seven years. There was life as you knew it – NOW. And then, there was the next second. And everything could change that quickly. Everything. Veronica **knew** this. But still… there were a few constants she'd allowed herself to embrace; to have faith in through the years. A few unalterable facts:

1) Her dad loved her and would - without a second thought – lay his life down for her. 2) Backup was the best dog in the world; bar none. There was no competition. 3) Mac, Wallace… and Logan were… good friends. Great friends. Reliable, caring, put themselves in danger – _true friends_. 4) Lamb and Veronica? Oil and Vinegar. Hitler and Chamberlin. White and Black. Antimatter and Matter…, you get the idea.

See. Unalterable facts.

Only, well, Veronica was pretty certain Hitler and Chamberlin never kissed…. And she was pretty certain physicists still believed that matter and antimatter could not happily coexist in the same space at the same time.

So how the hell could she explain the moments of… insane bliss she'd experienced, not once, but THRICE, in Don Lamb's arms?

She couldn't.

Mac's suggestion? The 'like factor'? The: he likes you: you like him factor? Yeah… NO. It unsettled Veronica. It made her nervous. Physics suicide/relationship suicide dictated that if matter touched antimatter or Veronica liked/was liked by Don Lamb the world would end. On this plane of existence, some things just couldn't happen.

Which brought her back full circle to: What. The. Hell?

Her head was spinning after her lunch with Mac and she decided she needed therapy.

Woman therapy.

Therapy step one – shopping. Black sling backs. Leather, peep toe. On sale and fabulous.

Still feeling confused and overwhelmed.

Therapy step two – pastries. Dillon's chocolate filled croissants. Bought 3, ate 2; don't want to be a pig.

Still confused and overwhelmed.

Therapy step three – Drinking. The Sand Bar. Large TnT sitting in an icy glass.

Looking down at the peep toes of her new shoes, peeking out from beneath the hem of her jeans, Veronica thought that step three MIGHT be working. _I might have to move step 3 up to step 2 or 1._ And then she remembered Leann. _Okay, only one or two drinks Mars, and then… then…._

"So… I guess the 'not pregnant' rumor is true."

Veronica looked up, not really surprised to find Don Lamb standing before her. Standing before her and looking – yummy. He was wearing a fitted black t-shirt and dark denim jeans. Simple, but oh so effective.

 _And I didn't just think that? Did I?_ Sigh.

"It's just a sod-" she started weakly.

"Don't bother." Lamb raised his hand gestured at the bartender for 2 more drinks. Settling into the chair across from Veronica, he continued. "I know you're not pregnant." His eyes lasered in on her downcast face; watching the light play across the blues of her eyes, watching it weave through the wispy golden strands of hair that framed her cheeks.

Suddenly overwhelmingly tired – of everything - Veronica threw back the last of her drink and… just gave in. "So how'd you find out?"

A shadow flitted over Lamb's eyes. "Casablancas."

"Dumb Dick." Veronica groaned.

Their drinks arrived and she focused on her glass. Stirring the clear icy liquid in her glass with the straw and focusing on anything/everything except for the man sitting across from her. She fished out the lime that had settled at the bottom of her glass and squeezed the juice into the liquor and seltzer. Dropping the used rind on to a napkin, she licked her fingers, the tart sweet juice of the lime making her lips purse, while the scent of lime – like a perfume – clung to her skin.

The soft sounds of the other bar patrons, talking, laughing. The sharp tinkling of glass and ice. The muted buzz of the basketball game on the TV…. And the sound of her own heart beating in her chest. She focused on each of them until nervousness forced her to speak. "Things were so much easier when I hated you."

Don stopped staring at Veronica's lips and looked at her eyes, eyes that hadn't met his since he walked up to her. "You _don't_ hate me anymore?"

"I should. You're a 6' 1" pain in my ass. A jerk. An idiot." She looked up, "I could go on, but, it wouldn't be polite."

"And politeness is definitely what you're known for." His tone was dry.

"I can be polite!" She pouted slightly.

"Unh huh."

Veronica flipped him off.

"Yeah, such a lady."

She groaned. "Why do you know just which buttons to push?!"

In the blink of an eye, Don's mind moved in directions it shouldn't. He could imagine… remember pushing one or two buttons of hers that seemed really effective. He felt his cock jump and he cleared his throat self consciously. "I'm not the only one with button pushing skills."

Veronica forced herself to breath slowly. She forced herself to NOT think about his hands and his lips and how good they felt. She focused on his neck… studying the faint line of his 5'oclock shadow _…. I don't want him_. _I don't want him. I can't want him. This is insanity._

"We need to talk." His voiced interrupted her little internal mantra.

"I thought that was what we were doing."

"No, we've been sniping. And," he let his eyes drift down to her neck, "biting at one another."

She remained silent. And Lamb shook his head in frustration. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out some cash, threw it on the table, and stood up and walked to Veronica's side. Reaching down, he wrapped his fingers around her slender arm and tugged at her.

"What the hell are you doing!?" She hissed and pulled her arm out of his grasp.

"You're such a chicken shit Mars."

It was a dare. And she hated dares. He knew she hated dares.

_Fuck._

"Keep your hands to yourself," she mumbled quietly as she pushed away from the table.

Proceeding him out of the bar, she slowly built her defenses. _This is insane. He's not hot. I don't want him. There is no 'like' between us._

As they filtered out into the sun, she went on the offensive. "I still hate you."

"I thought we just established that you really just 'wish' you hated me."

She turned to face him in the parking lot, an unbidden plea in her voice. "Wasn't it easier… for you too? I mean, when I knew – when you knew – that no matter what, you could rely on me for pure unadulterated hatred? Versus… versus," her eyes dropped to the pavement. "Whatever the fuck _this_ " she waved her hand between the two of them "crap is?"

Don placed his hand on Veronica's elbow and steered her to her Saturn. "Definitely easier. Everything prior to these past few months was easier." He held his hand out, "Keys."

"See this…'this' is abnormal. A year ago, you would have waited for me to start my ignition and back my car out, and then you would have gleefully turned on your sirens and arrested me for driving while under the influence." She reached into her back pocket and pulled out her keys. "Now, now you're being all… chivalrous." She dropped the keys into his hands, her eyes flitting back up to his. "You're confusing me."

Guiding her to the passenger door, Lamb unlocked and opened the car door for her, "You're confused? What about me?!"

"Yeah, well, confusion is a natural state of being for you; I'd think you'd be use to it." She groaned when he simply laughed at the soft zing versus sneering back at her. Change. She hated change.

As Lamb let back the seat, climbed into the car, and started the engine, Veronica licked her lips and blurted out, "Do _you_ still hate me?"

He was quiet and she wondered, briefly, if he'd heard her question. Unfortunately, asking it once had taken too much of her strength, she couldn't ask him again. She just… couldn't.

Relief poured through her body when he finally spoke.

"I don't think I ever really hated you."

Her eyes slashed in his direction, "Bullshit! I've got the proverbial scars to prove you hated me."

He chuckled. "I've been frustrated by you. Angry at you. Plagued by you. Tortured by you. I admit to all of those things, but hate…?"

"You took a lot of pleasure out of torturing me for it _not_ to have been hate." She retorted.

Lamb smiled darkly, "I admit to being a sadistic bastard, but that's not the same as hate."

Veronica turned in her seat and studied him. It was safe since he was occupied with driving. She'd be a liar if she didn't admit he was handsome. His hairline, neat and trim. His jaw, stubborn and strong. His ears. _Jesus Christ, I'm admiring his ears. Something is seriously wrong with me!_ She turned back in her seat. Apparently looking at him isn't safe in any circumstances. She distracted herself with more conversation. "So, no hate huh?"

He was silent again. This time it wasn't thought filled silence, this time it was an answer.

"Well just so there's no confusion, I've been busy hating you all these years."

He smiled.

Veronica pushed on. Maybe further than she really wanted to go. "Why didn't you believe us?"

It was a double edged question. Blades sharpened for cutting into flesh and mind from both sides. She was asking about his lack of faith in Keith when everything happened with Lily Kane. But she was also asking about his failure to believe _her_ claim of rape. _Shit._ He took a deep breath and addressed first things first.

"I didn't believe Keith because it simply didn't feel right to me. His take on Jake as the killer… it didn't sit right." He turned to Veronica, "and do I need to remind you that he was wrong?"

"No." Veronica shuddered slightly as she pictured Aaron Echolls' twisted angry face.

"And you." His voice dropped, "you I can't trust."

"What?!"

"Veronica, you're a fucking pit-bull. You grab on to something and you will NOT let go. And when I didn't agree with Keith's assessment of Lily's death, you grabbed on to 'Lamb is evil' like it was a blood covered hambone."

"You _are_ evil."

"Well, yeah, but I hadn't shown you that side of me yet." He continued. "How many times have you pointed me in the wrong direction, done something to publically embarrass me, attacked me in any way you could, just so you could 'stick it to me'?" He glanced at her profile again. "You're hard to trust… unless you're in the Mars' inner circle. And forget about it if you're an enemy… you better wear armor and a cup when you go to bed, cuz there's NO telling when the pit-bull is gonna attack."

"Pit-bulls can be very nice dogs." She spoke these words while inside she wondered just how much of what he'd said was true. _What's my personal code? If someone attacks me or mine, I don't forgive, I get even._

"Uh huh." He turned onto Debmount Ave. and added, "All of that being said, I wish I'd believed you. I would have killed that twerp Cassidy if I'd known he touched you."

Something in his voice made her believe him. Something in his voice and the fact that out of the corner of her eye, she could see his knuckles turning white and pink as he gripped the wheel.

"You wish you had believed me and that you hadn't been such a snark-ass." She muttered.

He echoed with a grin, "…And that I hadn't been such a snark-ass."

Suddenly it occurred to Veronica (master amateur detective) that she was in a car, with Lamb, and she was clueless as to, "Where are we going?"

He snorted then responded, "My place."

**MadiDoveMadiDoveMadiDove**

_I'm in like with you_

… _My heart's beginning to_ _Slightly overrule my head_  


  
_O_ _h no, oh no_ _My self-control_  


_It won't hold up for very long_

  
_Oh no, oh no_ _You touch my soul_  


  
_I_ _can't help falling too fast for you_  


… _Who knows if we are ready to make this something?_  


_Who knows?_

_Maybe this is love…_

**Who Knows ~Natasha Bedingfield~**

The rest of their ride took place in a tenseness that was tactile. Tangible. Almost painful in its grip of the two of them.

It was funny how they could, each of them, handle anger; but give either of them an emotion that was softer, less sharp, sweeter… and they were scared shitless.

The big tough sheriff, and the never lose detective. Novices each of them when it came to… oh, let's just say it: Love.

**MadiDoveMadiDove**

Lamb pulled into the underground garage beneath his apartment, parking Veronica's car in his spot.

He turned off the engine and let the car fall into an electric hush. He moved his hands back to the wheel, locking them into place at 10 and 3 as thoughts chased through his mind. _Dumbest idea I've ever had? What exactly was I thinking would happen? Why'd I bring her here? Okay, I KNOW why I brought her here, but… fuck! It's goddamn Veronica Mars. This is the shit of dreams. Or fucked up nightmares. She's going to taser me if I even look her direction. Forget the fact that I've… we've… already kind of been here before. Close. And touching. And kissing. Fuck!_

 _Okay, what's he doing? Why is he just sitting there? Why hasn't he gotten out, or reached for me, or…? And I just asked myself why he isn't touching me._ Veronica groaned to herself. _Fuck fuck fuck. I do like him. Like, lust, want…_ She even thought she glimmered, somewhere in the back of her mind and gut and heart, the shimmery crush-glow that she'd had for him when she was a kid. The crush-glow was jumping up and down waving fucking pom-poms and a banner that said: Don Lamb – what a prince.

She knew he wasn't a prince, but, he… he got her. And she got him. They knew each other's buttons _._ Good and bad. Off and… she felt a flutter in her belly, definitely on. _And he's still just fucking sitting there!_

_Did he change his mind?_

And then she saw his grip on the wheel, tightening and loosening. Black and white, matter and antimatter. Him and her. He hadn't changed his mind.

He'd taken the initiative. He'd gotten them here. He'd made a move. Veronica screwed up her courage. _Guess it's only fair if I do my part._

She slid her hand down to the buckle of her seatbelt and 'clicked' it open. The sound was huge in such a small space. Reaching across the gear shift Veronica removed the keys from the steering column before she opened the passenger door and climbed out of the car.

Don let his head drop back against the head rest. _Should have made a move_. _Should have forced her to see that the two of us were fucked up alone, and fucked up together… but at least, together, we're -_

Opening the driver's side door Veronica let her hand settle on Lamb's forearm. Her fingers edged down along the muscles, muscles that moved beneath her touch, until they reached his hand. She curled her fingers around his. A peace offering. A step toward the future. A test of the matter/antimatter theory.

"I've always wondered what Don Lamb's lair looks like – from the inside. Wanna show me?"


	12. Perfect

Lamb watched Veronica as she held Madeline in her arms. She was the toughest woman he'd ever met, but at this moment, she was soft; soft and vulnerable and open.

She didn't let a lot of people see her this way. So… happy; wearing a smile that radiated from the inside out. _Yeah_ , he watched as she touched baby Madi's chin, _his girl was genuinely happy_.

And it had been proven to Lamb during the past few months that when Veronica was happy, HE was happy. There was a direct, undeniable correlation.

And Madi apparently made her happy. It was only the third time she'd seen the baby, but she got the same look – the same smile – on her face every time.

It was kind of breathtaking.

"Dude," Dick plopped down next to him on the couch. "You are so in trouble."

"Hey Dick. I'm in trouble? What did I do?"

"It's not what you did man, it's how you look. You've got the oogledy boogledies."

"The… what?" He accepted the beer Dick held out to him.

"Oogedly Boogledies. Otherwise known as 'OB', or the 'Oh Baby' look."

Lamb raised an eyebrow and shook his head in bewilderment.

"Dude, you're looking at Veronica and Madi like they're the most perfect things in the world. Which, okay, yeah, Madi is pretty perfect, but… yeah… you've got a pretty severe case of the oogledy boogledies."

Lamb laughed. "Dick, where do you get this shit from?"

"Observation and study of the human condition."

Lamb nearly spit out his beer. In the last five months he'd come to appreciate the humor, and, well the honesty that came from Dick Casablancas.

That being said, he still hadn't quite decided if Dick was actually an idiot, or more of an idiot savant.

Veronica was cooing. She knew she was cooing and it was making her cringe a little bit on the inside, but, honestly, she couldn't stop herself. Madi was beautiful. A riot of chocolate hair topped a cute chubby little face, and the biggest bluest eyes that Veronica had ever seen. Those eyes were staring sleepily up at Veronica now, and with a yawn, Madi smiled and closed her eyes, content in her Aunties arms.

Unconditional love. Yeah, there was something to that.

"God Mac, you did good here."

Mac stood at Veronica's shoulder looking down at her daughter as she lay in her best friend's arms. "I kinda did, didn't I?" Pride edged her voice.

"She's perfect. I thought she was perfect in the hospital, and last week when I saw her, but now… she's perfecter."

Mac giggled and reached out to touch the mop of hair atop her daughter's head. "Speaking of perfect," she tore her eyes away from her child and glanced at Dick and Lamb chatting in the living room, "things still going well between you and our fearless sheriff?"

Veronica blushed slightly, "They're going so well that I just KNOW when the 'other shoe' drops, it's going to be a stiletto, and it's going to drop right on _my_ head." The women smiled at one another.

"Sounds a bit like how I felt about Dick and me. I mean, I was positive that I was going to wake up or something, and find out that I'd been dreaming and he didn't really like me."

"The man is crazy about you."

"Sickening isn't it?"

Veronica scrunched up her nose and turned to Mac. "It realllllly is."

Mac laughed then sighed quietly, "He drives me crazy, but I don't question his wanting me anymore. I mean," Mac tucked her hip out and patted the ponytail at the back of her head, "when a guy has all this being offered to him… how can he NOT be smitten?"

"He didn't stand a chance." Veronica grinned.

"Not a chance! And even though he is sometimes more immature than Madi, he's the sweetest sexiest surferboy I've ever met." Mac eyed Veronica, "So even though they drive us crazy… men can be sweet."

"I don't know if I'd call Don 'sweet', but… he," a smile different from the smile Madi engendered, graced Veronica's face. Still soft, still vulnerable, but tinged with something akin to love. She hugged Madi closer, "He's so…" She searched for the right term to describe Don Lamb.

Mac smiled, she'd noticed that the only time that Veronica was ever at a loss of words was when she was talking about, or around Don Lamb. "Right. He's so 'right'."

Veronica looked back at Mac with a grin. "Yeah. He's _right_. It's sickening how 'right' he is.

Mac was itching to hold her daughter again, and selfishly/motheringly, wiggled her fingers in Veronica's direction. Veronica was intelligent enough to know that NO ONE should ever get between a mother and her cub, and kissing Madi on the forehead, she handed her over to Mac.

Leaning back against the kitchen counter Veronica looked at Don.

"He puts up with my sarcastic ass- erh" she glanced at Madi and adjusted her language, "my sarcastic _attitude_ , and gives it right back. Which, _some_ people find hard to do." She grinned mischievously before continuing. "And not only does he quip and snark with me, he follows up that snark by pulling me close to him. He doesn't let me run." She fanned herself as if suddenly hit by a southern swelter, "And good lord, I do declare, that man _knows_ how to pull a woman closer."

"Veronica!" Mac tinged pink then giggled.

At midnight, Veronica and Lamb made their exit from Mac, Dick and Madi's beachfront home. Food, drinks and laughter had been had by all. And it wasn't until shortly before midnight that Dick's subtle hints about wanting to be alone with Mac became – not so subtle.

As the front door closed behind them, Don reached for Veronica's hand, entwining his fingers with hers. "Dick really wanted to get us out of there."

Veronica laughed lightly. "Mmmhmmm, which is really kind of sweet when you think about it, I mean… Mac's still on restrictions, but Dick's a softy about her. He likes his 'me time' with Mac. Even if it's only _look, can't touch_ 'me time'." She shook her head, "it's nauseatingly cute."

They reached the car, but instead of opening the passenger door for her, Don pulled Veronica in front of him, settled her back against the door, and stepped in so that she was trapped between his body and the car.

"Well, whatever the reason, I'm glad we're out of there…" he whispered in her ear, "alone… together."

Shivers floated down Veronica's body. Looking up at him, she released his hand and slid her hands up his biceps. "Oh you are, are you?" Her voice was seductive, playful.

He placed his hands on her hips. "Yeah. I like my 'me time' too. And since my girl isn't on any restrictions, I'm thinking my 'me time' might involve a little more 'touching' and a little less 'looking'. He smirked down at her. 'Although, don't get me wrong, I'm definitely willing to look too."

"Why Sheriff Lamb," Veronica batted her eyes teasingly, "I do believe you're coming on to me."

His fingers curled along her denim clad hips. "I always knew you were smart."

She stood on her tip toes, and pressed her lips against his; still amazed that he felt and tasted so wonderful. Always.

Dropping back down, she moved her hands to his chest, feeling his pecs. "You know," her voice was soft, "I kind of like my 'me time' too."

"Do you now?" He lifted a hand to her hair, coiling his fingers there.

Veronica's little admission of liking the time she spent with him – as slight an admission as it was – broke yet another part of the wall Lamb had built around his heart. Emotions weren't their thing. He and Veronica had never completely learned how to navigate their way through feelings and emotions without getting bruised, or fearing they'd be bruised. But every time they did; every time they successfully moved further into/around/through emotion, it got better. They got better at trusting one another.

Who knew trusting… loving… your favorite enemy could be so… perfect. Attitudes, sarcasm, selfishness and all; it was perfect.

Rubbing his chin against the top of her head he murmured, "Veronica?"

"Don?" She was pressing little kisses against his chest.

"I've been thinking about getting a new place. Something big enough for two…. Do you know anyone who might be interested in rooming with a sarcastic jerk?"

Her body stiffened slightly and then she melted against him again. "You forgot 'sexy and stubborn'."

"So I did. Stubborn, sarcastic, sexy jerk, in need of roommate. Any takers?"

Lifting her head and staring Lamb directly in the eyes, she responded with a smirk, "If it's an apartment, make certain they accept dogs; I'm not leaving Backup behind."

As he leaned in for a kiss, Don Lamb replied "I wouldn't dream of leaving Backup behind."

THE END


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